Sunday, December 17, 2006

euphoric response

When I called et asking her to drop by on Sunday, instinctively I knew she'll turn up. The nature of Siti Ruzzaidah, you can always count on her..

Then, true to her words, after zohor dia dah sampai. What I didnt expect was, she brought bapakla banyaknya food. Ada sate ayam+rusa+daging, donut and some fruits. Tapi she forgot to bring marble cheesecake wic I craved so much.. Tapi apa sangatla smer tu dibandingkan seeing her, sharing stories and dapat EUPHORIA...

Last time ada parfum baru was end of last year. Tu Abang Sham kasi Jie waktu kitaorang g open house dia. I never met Abang Sham pegi pun sebab kebetulan I was there jadi terpaksala Jie bawak sekali. But then I m sure he planned nak adiahkan perfume tu kat orang tersayang tapi since I was there and kat seploh kali cakap Attraction(nama perfume tu) is for women, maka ngan berat hatinya Jie terpaksa la kasi kan....Saya pun TERPAKSA la terima eh... hehehhe

This year I m on tight budget. Perfume x masuk langsung dalam list.. Bila dapat free, EUPHORIA lak tu... wuhuuuuuuuuu lepas isya' terus saya sembur sana sini... euphoric la tu... hehehhe..

Gitula citer saya ari ni..

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Amazing Discoveries (Ceewahhh)

Lerrr baru saya tau....

1. Rupa-rupanya Jie dpt jadik Juara dalam inter-club competition kat Bangkok last week. Tapi adiah dia trophy jer and kapten kumpulan la ambik... I tot hadiah golfing hebat2. Paling kurang barang elektrik ke, barang kemas ker... paling cikai pun kasila henfon... iskkk..

2. Rupa-rupanya roti canai segera wic Uda used to bring home tu is local made. The frozen food tawkey resided in my neighbourhood. I tell u, the roti canai is superlicious!!!.. Besides that they also produce pau and puff.

3. Rupa-rupanya Bad who is getting married this weekend will hired catering service. Jarang jerr orang kampung ni guna katering coz selalu buat gotong royong. Selalunya orang yg guna katering tu ala2 kayo la.. The funny thing is Bad is the 2nd using catering service for his wedding in my block. The first was Fuad. Both of them were my childhood friend (satu kelas masa sekolah rendah). Masa kenduri Fuad dulu, kitaorang cakap, ye la Fuad kan kaya sket coz dia keje Majistret. In Bad case, kitaorang plak tanya.. dah kaya ke Bad ni sekarang?.. Sangat laser kan... Camna pun saya tumpang gembira (dan tumpang makan) for both of them.

4. Lagi citer orang kawen.. Pernah dengar x nama Kapten(B) Najmudin Elias? Dulu selalu gak kuar kat tv, dan sekarang dah masuk UMNO lak dia. His bro nak kawin next week. Ble lak orang kampung ni sewa 2 bas nak pegi? Including my mom, because his mother is Guru Agama kaum ibu kat sini. Kot yer pun janganla sampai 2 bas.. iskkk berapa kawahla orang tu kena masak karang...

5. Rupa-rupanya kalau doktor betul yang berlakon jadi doktor dalam drama melayu, he/she will looks damn convincing. Tadi tertengok (sebelum ni x kuasa pun nak tengok) drama Salina 2 kat tv3. The way doktor tu terangkan penyakit Jalaludin Hassan, fuhhh rasa macam besok nak tengok lagi citer tu. Tu citer bersiri.. Apsal selama ni depa duk bersusah ambik pelakon jadik doktor?

6. Rupa-rupanya Datuk Shafie, peguambela Razak Baginda dah quit, Karpal Singh jadi pemerhati together with the deceased' family lawyer from Mongolia. Media representative from abroad also will be there during the trial wic will commence on Jan 5th next year. Orang SUHAKAM datang x? By the way, ikat jamin Razak baginda is RM1 juta. Dia bayar lak tu...Fuhhh... banyaknya duit...

7. Rupa-rupanya sekrang dah kol 12.30 mlm.. keje x siap lagi print..guess have to sleep now, pas tu bangun awal sket sok pagi...bye..

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Bisexual and human rights

Time: 12 noon
Duration: 1 hour
Programme: Wanita hari Ini (TV3)
Topic: Bisexual

Synopsis
Syafinaz and Ivy compered the show and their distinguished panel is a Mental Specialist Dr lupa-lak-namanya from Malaya University.

Intro- What is bisexual, pattern, bla bla..

First, recorded interviews with public regarding the topic. The questions were randomly from, pernah dengar x?, ada pengalaman? patutkah diberi hak? apa patut dibuat? Lebih kurang la gitu kot.

Then, a phone interviewed with Linda (cam biasala bukan nama sebenar).
Soklan n jawapan (mintak maaf ni berdasarkan yg saya ingat jer.. apa kerja plak nengok tv nak salin2 kan...)

Bila mula? since she was 16 r 17

umo berapa n x terfikir nak kawin ker? now 27, ya memang nak kawin.

apa pandangan orang lain- family, boyfren, kengkawan?family x tau tapi diorang dapat mengagak, boyfren x kisah I dah terus terang ngan dia, kengkawan sumer x kisah.

x rasa bersalah ke atau keliru ke dengan kecenderungan bi ni?Bersalah x. Keliru yess..kenapa perasaan ni wujud .. u know..

Yang mana lebih disayangi- her boifren r girlfren? 50-50..

Meanwhile ditunjukkan Lakon Semula a girl turun dr bas jumpa another girl hugs and kisses and they went to see her boifren. Duduk2, romantik2 disaksikan oleh another girl tadi... Pas tu diorang jalan sama2.

Pas tu.. Dr kasi komen.. statistic from the study in US.. and bla bla bla.. pas tu ada satu lagi caller.. Nama Linda gak ngaku bi. She sounds young. Gamaknya teenager kot..

Finally - public interview lagi... this time around the soklannya ialah, pernah x didekati/digoda/diminati oleh golongan ini... 4,5 orang related ther tales.

yang buat saya hangin tahap tenuk.
According to Collins Cobuild dictionary, Bisexual is someone who is sexually attracted to both men and women. I repeat, sexually attracted. Among others are Angelina Jolie and Madonna yang siang2 ngaku ngan bangganya.

Honestly I dont mind if WHI nak ketengahkan topik ni. Ye la.. benda ni wujud. Tapi masalah negaranya the way they did it, macamla bisexual ni macam perkara kecil2an jer..
1. Public yang di temuramah tu pun ala2 konpius... Wehhh lesbo x sama ngan bi la dekk..
2. From the start depa x nak kata bi ni penyakit or masalah, fine la.. tapi sampai sudah haram xder sapa pun nak kasi tau repercussions of this habit. Come on la...
3. Phone interview ngan si Linda tu... Adusss... sangat konfiden dia.. ngan suara yang tegas she said x rasa bersalah..
4. Lakonan semula - mintak maafla... mcm keluar tajuk jer... whats wrong with ladies jalan pegang tangan?
5. They wrapped ngan cakap - this thing happened. Itu aje. Sekian.

Basically lepas tengok WHI tu saya rasa they succeed in potraying bisexual is a norm in society just like poligamy, marriage and fall in love. After all bisexual pattern ni including of well-educated person. Mostly are yuppies, designers, artists and proffesionals. Orang pandai mestila tau apa yang dia buat kan.. macam Linda tu la...

Bagi seorang yang bakal `menimang 150 orang cahaya mata' Januari tahun depan macam saya ni, siaran tadi betul2 mimpi buruk. Mudah2an xder la kids ngan bangganya telling me "Saya bisexual".


_____________

Time: nite
Duration : Uh... I watched during the last 30 mins of the show jer.
Programme: Fast Forward (RTM1)
Topic: Human Rights in Malaysia

Synopsis.
Host, Hamidah Hamid invited 3 panelist - Tan Sri Talib (ke tu nama ayah dia?), Suhakam President, Mr Yong, Malaysian BAR and Josef from Amnesty National to discuss the topic. Basically, all of them agreed on individual rights doesnt mean they can violate the law. As they see it, we have ample rules and regulation (ke depa cakap law? lupa la..) tapi yang create chaos tu were people in power..
Gitu la lebih kurang..Pusing2 pun and in the end diorang akan cakap gitu balik..

Yang buat saya terus menonton..
Wehh... I do not know people has the right to redress ministers order. Tan Sri tu merujuk kepada isu lesen surat khabar ditarik balik. There were other interesting issues as well such as judiciary system, police enforcement, ISA, AUKU and money politics. Admittedly, The Tan Sri gave very good comments. Guess the other two panelist pun rasa cenggitu kot coz diorang pun lebih banyak mendengar dari cakap..

Tapi ye la kan... all in all I thought that smer tu banyak sangat berlapiknyer.. Ye la .. TV kerajaan la pulak ye dak?

Thursday, December 07, 2006

20 anecdotes plus latest news wic broke my heart

Lately xder mender yang menarik pun unless kot nak kira yesterday's incident tu.. tapi sebelum tu nak tulis dulu pasal hospital anecdotes. Ni utk peringatan diri sendirik... heheheh

1. I found out kerjaya nurse ni sangat2 mulia... Cannot imagine myself, mandikan patient apatahlagi nak cucikan berak kencing orang...They did it with genuine concerned and tenderness... Rasanya mati hidupsemula un saya x dapat balas jasa diorang.

2. Throughout these ordeal, I constantly reminded myself to be strong and "be nice"to others. Tapi satu kali tu I yelled to the nurse sebab dia pegang my swollen hand. Sakit nak mati tu...

3. Ntah dari mana dpt idea... but I m glad I tot ni minor operation jer... Kalau tau dari mula, mau saya x dtg spital kot. Bila dah selesai acara, sambil sembang2 tu one of the nurse tanya.. "kak sapa cakap ngan akak ni minor?"... Well...hehehhe tula memandai2...

4. Even the fact that,"I am great looking forward" for the operation, tapi I don want others to know operation apa. Lecehla..nanti misti tanya macam2... Kawan2 nak datang melawatpun saya awal2 x kasi. Except for Et la..Sebab dia degil...hehehe

5. Turned out my decision x nak org tau saya kat spital, was the wisest. Until today, I don feel like to talk about it to others. For all the well-wishers yg call, told them read my blog jer... Sangat penat la nak mengulang citer yang sama.

6. Despite patient's file was abandoned on your bed the whole day, it was considered "confidential". Cesss!!!! honestly, x teringin sikit pun nak bukak (tu due to opt-phobic) until satu hari ada nurse tu cakap, patient pun x ble baca tau. The next day I opened it. Kalau dah dilarang tu...

7. Mula2 rasa sangat tension coz all docs and nurses before opt asyik nak cakap pasal opt procedure and after opt nak kasi tau what they have done... Diorang ni xpaham2ke saya ni memang x nak amik tau langsung. On the last day, masa isi questionaire tu baru tau tu masuk dalam senarai tugas depa.. lerr...

8. 500cc tu banyak mana? Coz tu darah yang diorang guna for my opt. Nanti kalau dah sihat, saya pun nak derma darah darah jugak. Sblm ni pernah try tp kantoi sbb masa u tgh selsema.

9. Bila tgh sakit, simple things pun sgt besar rasanya. Bila depa (Uda, Mak Pah,Embah, nurse) sudukan air ke mulut, rasa macam angel yang datang. Tu belum citer pasal orang tolong mandikan dan cuci berak kencing smer... At that time saya berazam, nanti bila sihat saya sehari dalam sebulan saya nak luangkan masa dispital, doing the same thing to others. InsyaAllah.. Coz I know apa rasanya bila x berdaya dan telentang atas katil...

10. Yang ni kelakar. The nite before opt, waktu sembang2 ngan Shidah, an Indian cleaner yang kitaorang x penah jumpa pun suddenly told me , " Adek,u lain tahun jugak kawen".. Then dia mintak nak tengok tapak tangan saya..." Ini macam kalu... tengah 2007 nanti kawen".. Huyooo..saya pun tanya "dengan sapa?".. pas tu dia jawab,"u sandri pun tau la adekk"... Kalau tau xpayah la tanya...hehehehe... Yang super kelakarnya, 3 thn dulu waktu saya tengah frust tahap tenuk, then pegi mandi bunga (ustazah kata xper..sb tu saya g hehehe), then nenek tu potong2 limau dalam baldi (pas tu air tu buat mandi), dia cakap..."uishhh ramainyer lelaki nak dengan kamu yer?.tapi ada dua orang ni betul2 dekat, kalau macam ni caranya x lama 2,3 bulan ni jadiler". Ni dah 2,3tahun.. x kawen jugak..hahhahah.. Not that I m complaining...hehhehehehe...

11. 3 hari lepas balik rumah, Mommy and Uda g trip ke Jakarta for 4days. Trip ni dah rancang lama so xleh nak dikensel. Jadi I was left in the hand of my bros. Agaknya mak dah pesan mcm2 kot. Pagi2 jer depa kejutkan suh makan, satu keje pun x payah buat... hebat tu. Ada satu hari tu I tried to help them masak, "jangan!!!" ye la.. dah kena marah tu x berani la nak melawan...

12. Dulu ingatkan seronok berpantang nih... Sebab tengok my sisters lepas bersalin mcm senang jer, x yah buat keje...rupanya...lenguh satu badan... I tried to do simple things mcm sapu umah dan cuci pinggan... tapi pas tu darah kuar balik... so sy pun stop la..

13. Errr... all my siblings mmg menggalakkan buat surgery ni. When i told mommy dia diam jer. On the day I went to the hospital she cried. Confused gak, confused gak coz saya penah lebih teruk dr tu, xlak dia nangis.. After the opt she took a great care of me, I mean, besides kakak2 saya bersalin, mana ada dlm family yg opt. Now I know why... masa muda2 dulu mommy pun penah underwent the same operation. Patutla..

14. I made some new frens waktu kat spital.
a) Shidah - dah 5 kali masuk spital sebab miscarriage.
b)Kak Nani - ex-cop yang jaga mak dia buat opt
c) Embah - mak mentua Pah yang baik hati.
Eh... 3 orang jer?...

15. Bila doc and nurses pesan jgn angkat brg berat, i tot angkat beras berkilo2ke hapa. Masa mula2 tu I found out, angkat air sebaldi pun membuatkan rasa nak tumbang... tubelum citer bab terbatuklagi tu..

16. Honestly, hospital food was not bad. For the 1st 2 days elok je makan... tapi once i hit on soft diet, langsung xleh nak masuk....

17. Docs are ok. Tapi ada sorang je pompuan, Dr Akmal, houseman. Camna tu?

18. Kena tulis ni.... ada sorang nurse tu sangatla lemah lembut...bukan saya sorang je yang cakap.. shidah pun cakap cenggitu...orang cucuk memang la sakit, tapi dia ble buat sampai kita x terasa pun...ntah apa ilmu dia pakai... Normally she was in nite shift berdua ngan sorang lagi tu.

19. A week lepas opt, tiap kali bangun pagi badan rasa rasa lenguh dan numb. Reasons was tdo x bergerak2... satu hari masa kat umah, saya terjaga sbb dgr bunyi hp atas meja. Saya melompat bangun mcm selalu... amikk kau..pas tu ada la dekat stgh jam tahan sakit sebelum boleh turun dari katil.

20. X tau plak bila opt dapat hadiah best2 dari kawan2 (pada saya kalau dapat gelang tu x kisahla cap apa memang best giler la kan...). Hehehhe thanks to them... tp yg ni x best.. Kak Jie(et's boss) yg penah senasib ngan sy pinjamkan opt bib (despite Et insisted nak beli sendiri, tp dia xkasi sbb mahal dan bukan nak pakai selalu). Since ada 2 botol lagi ginseng haruan lebih dia pun kasi la sekali... Et dgn x puas hatinya telah beli 5 botol lagi ginseng haruan. Pas tu dia paksa2 suh minum... Geram betul... mmg sy xleh nak minum langsung... tgk botolpun dan loya... Azab betul... Memang la I m grateful tapi tu namanya menyeksa kengkawan sbb x pasal2 kena marah ngan Uda x habiskan ginseng tu... Dia ingat senang?Iskkkk


Sekian...


Opsss ni citer semalam.

Smlm g klinik sbb darah keluar sket2... takut gak.. tp tu bukan takut sangat kalau compared ngan news yg dibawa an old fren. She never lied to me in the past, not likely to do it now....

She said," 3 of ur girls are ......".

Me, "Who? any names".

She, "uh... kind of confidential"

I went home with heavy heart. This questions keep nagging me the whole day, "apa lagi yang kurang didikan sy berikan pada depa? Apala dosa saya diduga dapat anak2 macam nih..."

Rasa mcm... iskkkk.... sangat kecewa kot...

Monday, December 04, 2006

Tipah tertipu

Iskkk.. how 2 start eh?

sebenarnya x tau la sapa tipu sapa.

In August
Me : ni minor operation je kan doktor?
Doc: Minor x minor la.. u kena datang on saturday and opt on monday.
Me :oookk

I read somewhere, ada orang tu buat minor opt, dia drove sendirik jer. Jadi rasa mcm xkisah sangat. In normal circumstances saya akan cari sebanyak2 info pasal opt tu,tapi ntah.. might be the word MINOR tu makes me rasa x kisah sangat kot tambah lagi mcm bz lak... cewahhh..

My plan.
18/11 - drive g spital -masuk wad
20/11- operation -
21/11- balik umah
28-30/11 - langkawi

yang terjadi
18/11 Sat
Drove to spital, admitted, Kena scan (2 kali coz the first time the doc x perasan or whatever... urine and blood test.

Doc came, kasi tau mcm2 and when it comes to opt procedure, ngan muka takut2 I told him," please... I don wanna know"..
Mlm- kena marah ngan nurse sebab dah nak kol 11 still tgk tv lagi...

19/11 Sun
Meeting with anaesthatic, kasi tau procedure,"kita guna epidural yer".. to wic i replied, guna la apapun, janji saya x sakit.

Nurse dtg kasi tau procedure hospital. When she came to opt procedure part, I told her, "tolongla... akak memang xnak tau, nanti akak cold feet!"

Mommy and family and ET came. cesss Masa sihat2 ni org datang melawat, rasa mcm berlakon jer...

Cucukmenderntah kat tangan- untuk masuk air nurse tu kata... dua kali cucuk lak tu.. Ist time, right hand bengkak...tukar left..

Scan lagi, this time Specialist. Well.. something rasa-nak-terajangje-doktor ni happened. I called et and Jie.
ET: Pasal ko x tendang je dia? bangang...
Jie: what??? he did that to u? Mana boleh...
Later when the nurse ckp he is an Indian national so rasa ok sket. I shouldnt speak malay, tapi masalahnya ckp omputeh pun dia mcm x paham jugak..

Traumatic... I told Shidah my ward mate. She calmed me down, asked me to take necessary action. Tapi lepas checked apa yang patut and I found out xder apa yang buruk terjadi I prefer to forget it.

Mlm- kena sound ngan nurse, "tolongla balik bilik, kitaorang nak kena ambik Bp akak".. hhehehe tu masalahnya bila sihat masuk spital. xsedar diri...

BTW, mkn ubat wic makes me rushed to ladies at ungodly hours... fuhh gilo


20/11 Mon
Another jap before subuh..g toilet lagi.. keluar smer isi perut. No breakfast today sbb dah kena posa since last nite.

Kemas2 barang sebab shidah kata lepas opt kena duk ICu dulu baru masuk bilik semula.

10.30 - nurse suh tukar baju, pakai cap dan gelang putih-baring atas stretcher- selimut putih- attendant hantar ke Operation Theater (OT). On the way ada nurse kasi satu cold pack (mcm pek piknik tu) she said dalamnya ada darah.

katluar OT: amik BP ngan pulse lagik.. Aduss dug dag dug dag. Rasa mcm nak lari jerrrr...

Then ditolak masuk OT...

Doktor kasi tau lagi procedure, "kami akan cucuk tiga bahagian kat tengah belakang untuk epidural, pasang a few wires kat chest..."

Masa tu kena duduk lepas cucuk baring, depakan tangan.. then....

Arghhhhh rasa ngiluuuu, sakit, loya.. smer adala.. someone in blue coat stood beside me.."Norizan nak apa? dah sedar ke?"

"Nk muntah"... pas tu org tu sedut guna satu alat....

"I want my mommy!" dan dia cakap..."ada.. ada.. dia ada kat luar"... Pas tu rasanya sy mengeletar gila2... partly sbb sakit n sejuk, mainly sebab takut orang sebelah tu mengerang kuat2.... Told nurse I'm scared, she said org sebelah tu eksiden... and she asked me nak balik wad ke... so dia suh atendant hantar balik wad..

Masuk ICU kol 2.45ptg (uda cakap), Saya masih mengeletar, tapi was extremely glad when i saw mommy was there. Tried my best not to cry.. tapi sejuk giler and sakit giler... saya pun x tau apa saya buat...

Ni uda yang citer..The ICU nurse tanya,"sakit lagi ke ker? sekarang ni no 6, nak saya naikkan no 8 ke?".. I do not know what the hell she talked about tapi since dia cakap ngan polite I was like,"kalau x menyusahkan nurse...bolehker?".. Pas tu nurse tu cucuk lagi kat bahu kanan and saya pun dozed off..

Antara sedar ngan x mommy ckp nak balik, salam ngan mommy, mintak maaf segala silap dari kecik sampai sekarang... she cried... me too.. x tahanla..especially when she kissed me and kata, "xder salah apa2"...sesuatu yang x pernah berlakula... iskkk..

Jiran katil namanya Pah umo 39 thn.Dia pun buat opt sama ngan saya. Tapi mlm2 dia x leh tdo...asyik nak muntah and she cried.. doktor cabut epidural dia n kasi dia injection, tapi tu pun dia still sakit lagi.. Her mom jaga dia merangkap tlg suapkan saya minum sekali.. Guess makciktu xleh tdo satu mlm layan kitaorg berdua.. kesian..

21/11 Tue
Still in ICU. Masuk air, antibiotik and terramal coz somehow the Specialist suh cuci operation site. Nurses complained kata normally bukak benda alah tu on the 3rd day, tapi since the Specialist insisted.. the doc kena ikut.. kot ye pun depa nih.. jgn la diskas depan patient...rasa mcm nak tercabut jantung dengarnya.. tapi lepas doc cuci tu, either dia buat ngan cermat ormmg procedure t gitu... x la sakit sangat pun..

Pagi2 nurse mandikan (atas katil),siap sikatkan rambut lagi...Memalukan betul..

Tgh - still posa..Uda sudukan air masak sbb nak pegang cawan pun x larat lagi. kaki still kebas. Pah dah ok sket. dia dah ble bangun, sy still telentang lagi..

Ptg - my auntie came. iskk pas tu tetiba lak..i had diarhea. Pah's MIL kasi pampers.. tapi diarrhea ni persisted.dah la x leh bangun, terpaksala panggil nurse cucikan.. Hisssskkk...

Mlm.. Diarhea makin x terkawal. Despite x mkn apa pun.. so Uda kasi tisu banyak2.. just lap jer and buang dlm tong sampah.. tapi menelang midnite.. tgn kanan sy sakit berdenyut2 langsung xeh angkat.. Pah tekan loceng panggil nurse... Further check.. instead of ayo masuk dalam darah, sekarang dah masuk dlm sel.. Sakit nak mati.. She take off the ayo and tukarkat site lama, belakang tapak tangan kiri.

TghMlm -diorang cucuk lengan tangan kiri (sebab tgn kanan langsung xleh disentuh.. swollen) nak amik darah... Aduhh sakitnya... Plus diarhealagi.. nurse dtg cuci.. menjelang subuh.. nurse panggil doktor coz yang saya dengar she said " cuba doktor tengok muka dia.. dah macam apa jer"... Pas tu she asked me.."kak, tangan akak memang kaler ni ker?"... I do not know what I answered.. nak bernafas pun rasa x buleh... masa tu saya rasa macam... errrr kalau mati pun x apa.. sebab xpernah rasa sakit macam tu sekali... Kot ye pun depa ni asyik duk tanya banyakkali..."jangan mcm ni kak, cakapla sakit kat mana...". Masalahnya nak cakap pun rasa xlarat...

At the end of nite shift, nurse tu dtg cucuk nak buat site baru utk masuk air sbb lama dan condemned(whatever that means)... tapi lepas lima kali jap... x bulih jugak.. they surrendered... They said vein saya kecik sgt.. left my hands swollen and bruised... Arghhh!!!


22/11 wed
Pagi2 Uda dtg suapkan air.. Ari ni kena mandi sendirik..Trainee nurse tu sorong ke bilik ayo, uda mandikan.. basuh rambut... Diarrhea tahap tenuk lagi... hehehhe kesian uda..

Doc cucuk untuk masuk air sambung keje nurse yg failed last nite tu..1st attempt terus succeed. alhamdulillah...

Balik semula ke ICu, rasa mcm penat je.. tapi bila Sister tu tanya "ok ke x nih?" cepat2 sy ckp sy ok despite nurse tu kata,"kenapa nampak mcm x ok jer"... Sebenarnya tu psychology la tu.. Org kata everything is in ur mind tp somehow... sy rasa sesak nafas gila2.. dan nurses panggil doc, pasang mesin yang bunyik tet-tet-tet-tet kat kuku tu.. Further check... muscle pain bukan jantung...

Sepatutnya mesin ubat tahan sakit tu bukak pagi ni sbb sy x brp stabil, nurse ICU tu datang semula few hours later... Dia nasihatkan banyak exercise.. dan kuatkan semangat..

Then bila smernyer ok.. Cik Ha (another auntie). sorong saya ke bilik wad biasa...
Fuhh lega... yg susahnya udala...sbb adik dia x leh nak g bilik air sorang2.. even tgh2 mlm pun kena kejutkan dia...

Diarhea still xilang lagi.. berapa kali ntah tukar baju... Giloss..

Mommy datang lagi.. feeling better...doc kata kalau smer ok esok boleh balik.. another jap kat perut... 2,3 ari depa asyik diskas kata kesian kat patient sebab jarumtu bapakla besar.. syukurla masa 2 org housemen tu dtg cucuk x sakit sangat pun... tapi lepas zohor badan sy suam2 dah...

Pah's parents dtg melawat.. bak betul diorang despite bukan kenal pun... terharu rasanya coz dia bwkkan nasik..

Lepas maghrib, another cucuk kat bahu... Cesss x ble tahan.. sakit giler2... nursetu datang demah ngan air panas..


23/11 Thu
Punah harapan nak balik sebab smlm 2 kali check suhu saya demam. Tension betul.. pah dapat balik lak tu...

Lunch - soft diet... No offence, tapi mmg x der selera betul... Uda beli nasi ngan kari kepala ikan.. yummy.. Pah's MIL kasi ikan bilis goreng.. Alahai sedapnya..

Dah boleh jalan ke bilik tv..tapi nak duduk-bangkit tu punyala azab...tu belum kira diarhea lagi...

Oh ye..this morning the housemen cakap, diarrhea tu sebab masa opt diaorg found ada jangkitan kuman kat bawah (don ask me bawah mana... i also dunno)then diorang taruh ubat (again.... don ask me ubat apa)... sebab tula diarrhea..

Reminds me of Erich Segal's The Doctor- We might not cured u, but at least we can tell u why u died.

Neways... felt much better 2 day... tangan still sakit, nak bangun still azab... t pedulik apa.. bila rasa ok sket jer... misti sy exercise sket2..

Xsabar nak balik umah sbb shidah pun dpt balik hari ni...

Sbb mood ok kot.. nurse pun rajin datang melayan... attendan hospital tu pun rajin datang sekali... mungkin depa nak hiburkan kot..Tapi tu la... bila depa nak ckppasal operation jer I refused to listen...

Told them..x sangka langsung jd teruk mcm ni


24/11
Pagi2 lagi dah mandi. Konfiden ble balik sbb smlm x demam. Diarhea pun dah kurang..Terus exercise...

Bila doc kata ble balik... badan pn rasa ringan..dapat surat ubat n bil terus g bayar sendirik... berpeluh2 la makcik!!!... ntah brp kali berentisbb penat... pedulik apa.. janji balik...

Lupa lak... on the way terjumpa ngan org ICU yg jaga sy ari tu...thanked her... dia mcm terkejut coz syjl sejauh tu... but i told her... ni smer galakan dia sh kuatkan semangat n bykkan exercise.. Hehehehe rasanya pas ni tobat dia x kasi nesihat mcm tu dah... Mana dia nak tau ada patient cenggini eh... tapi she advised me suh berenti bila penat and jangan paksa diri sangat... I couldnt agree more sbb a few times rasa nak tumbang jgak..

After Jumaat Acho and Mommy sampai.. Doc kasi 2 kotak ubat utk cucuk kat perut by the nearby doctor..dan berbakul2 nesihat dari nurse... Hehehehhe..they meant well...
Among others are..
a) Jgn mkn makanan yg gatal2
b) X leh angkat berat2
c) Jalan pelan2
d)Habiskan smer ubat doc kasi
e)Jaga operation site betul2 jangan sampai bernanah
f)Banyakkan buah
g) Banyakkan minum air
h) Jangan datang lagi sini...hehehhe

Yang last sekali tu saya mmg setuju sbb rasa serik betul..

Bila sampai umah.. rasa mcm...

errrr
mati hidup semula kot....

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Last day

Masa mula2 keje I hate last day of school coz it means I'll be lonely and x tau nak wat apa. That's another story....

Today I brought ketupat palas and rendang, tot wanna eat with frens. Turned out most of them fasting. Apsal diorang nih.,.... iskk!! then tapaukan je... When I voiced my ketidakpuasan hati, Kak Zah and Kak Siti said, bwk la esok, esok x puasa dah...

And tetiba Zana came with brilliant idea, (sesuatu yang sangat jarang berlaku hehehhe).. We are going to have potluck breakfast tomorrow. Underground party la kekiranya. By invitation only. hehhehe.. Mcm best jer... Lokasi pun nak rahsia gak, but all the pinkish gang are most welcome.

Menu (1st draft)
Mee goreng, Nasi himpit kuah kacang, puding roti, biskut dan air suam (yang ni pun rasanya amik dari watercooler)..

BTW, tadi masa nak masak rendang belek2 la the 6 year old cooking book. Bought the book masa zaman kaya dulu. Dulu2 tiap kali nak masak misti bukak buku nih, tapi bila duk ngan family, asal memasak je kena komplen(memangla x sedapkan... tapi at least puji2la sket, amik hati, tipu pun xper... ni x asyik komplen jer... iskk iskk), udah ilang semangat nak memasak dan buku tu pun duduk saja la dlm almari, collecting dust.

Nak citer ni... ada resepi ikan kukus. Senang jer rupanya, rasa mcm kejap2 ketika ni jugak nak masak ikan. I looove steamed fish especially kat Thai restoran-ntah-apa-ke-namanya-panjang-beno-xleh-nak ingat kat level 6 Sogo. Pas ni x yahla kot g restoran tu lagi nak mkn steamed fish. Cewahhhh... apa2 hal kena try dulu la..

Lagi satu..
My niece, Nadia called nak kasi tau except for Arabic, yang lain smer A. I told all my anak2 sedara, anyone who obtain A's in Science, Maths and English, they can join me g holiday. Kali ni only Adeeba and her manage to score. Yang 2 orang lagi (luqman and Izzati) x dapat.

Well... mana kalkulator tadi eh... nak kena buat budget lagi nampaknya.... hehehhe

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Final week

Too much work, too little time.

Thanx to the exam analysis system wic is so efficient and user-friendly, kot x... aduss lagi la tension. Thanx to farhana for making it the way it is.

I cannot say, time fly coz I m `great looking forwad' for the year end holiday. No specific reason. I just wanna have a quiet holiday, just me, book and sea. Huh?

Since I was small I love the idea of living by the seaside. Afterall most of the Enid Blyton's books misti ada seaside. Yep, I read all her books when I was in school. It makes me longing for school near the seaside even more.

Tapi sampai habis sekolah, jangan kata nak ada laut, swimming pool pun xder kat sekolah. isyyy!

When the time comes to enter uni, my first choice misti yang dekat laut. Thanx god, from my school, the sea view is breathtaking. Mintak maap, bukan sy sorang jer excited, my coursemates pun 2x5 jugak.hehhehe.. Auk betul masa first time naik top floor nak masuk kuliah.

On 2nd year, despite many of my gang moved to umah yang dekat2 ngan campus. I chose to rent a room di Gelugor, even I dont even know any of the housemate. The decision wic make frens confused, "nanti nak g kelas naik apa?".

Main reason, from the room, one's can see Penang Bridge clearly. Partly, Long Beach is just within walking distance. Sangat menarik. I used to wandering with Wa and Len, sometimes with Izan and Yam and bila xder sapa nak teman, I just went there alone. Life was less complicated then.

Tapi ye la kan... when coming back after graduating , rasa macam, alamak! But at that time I always knew, after five years I will apply for transfer to any coastal area. On my fourth year service, I've listed down districts, then schools. I even searched high and low for info, wic school most likely lack teachers with my option.

And last year, I submitt my transfer application form.

The life of me, I used to get my first choice. It's either first choice or x dapat langsung. When i granted the 2nd choice masa tu rasa mcm perghh!!! apsal plak nih.. Sedeyy.. but there's still coastal area. And Baby did help because she said she knows how much I wanted the place.

I was super sedeyy when given felda settlement area. Cant they see I've spent almost my entire life in Felda? Cant they figure out why this person apply for transfer? Of course they cant, but Baby had called then beforehand. Len taxied me to school, and later to Kuantan for sorting this out. Jie came down from Subang, for moral support sambil kasi nesihat, "lain kali tulis satu jer Dungun. Kalau dia nak kasi, kasi x nak sudah". Jie's friend lent me his office (they left me in the office and dashed off to Kemaman Kopitiam), sbb the Kuantan officer asked us to write an official letter.

To no avail.

My immediate boss suh jangan pergi. The super boss pun ckp x payah la kalau sama jer ngan my current workplace. A few bestfrens, x kasi pegi and siap gelak2kan lagi. My family, whom were very supportive (yahoo nanti kita ble g lawat andak sambil piknik tepi pantai) asked me not to go too.

No offence to the place, but its not what I expected.

Thats when I decided to x nak pergi. And comes another problem. I have no workplace. Dan we had extra manpower too, wic means, I wasnt welcomed. Thru this zaman darurat my super boss and immediate boss helped me a lot. Susah rupanya. Since xder black and white they cant assigned me to teach, except gantikan an ustazah whom on maternity leave.

They (the 2 bosses) advised me to write letter to pihak2 yang berkenaan. I did. No reply. The bosses advised me to go to the main office myself. I did.

To my dismay, the officer told me, "kami memang x kan balas surat". Huyooo.. Thats not all, I was asked kenapa nak pindah? ada gaduh dengan keluargaker? frust ke? ada kes kat sekolah ker? And the big boss siap cakap, cakap betul2, kami boleh tolong.

Apakejadahnya soalan. When i told them the truth (ustaz kata kalau tipu masuk neraka, terima kasih) siap lagi kena marah, kerja jangan nak kira tepi pantai ke apa yer. Mcm tu plak...tadi kata boleh tolong...

I m sure she knows what she talked about. But what she dont know is (in case she too busy sampai seploh kali talipon pun x angkat), the place that I want to go pun x cukup manpower la... Besides, my recent workplace dah lebih orang. Oh yer.. teringin betul saya nak kasi tau dia saya memang xder sejarah bergaduh sampai pindah2 nih...I was taught, fight for your right, and say sorry if u are in wrong side. Tu cikgu saya ajar masa kat Uni dulu. Terima kasih.

Nevertheless, I hold my tongue. Little Napoleon is everywhere, that's what everyone said, including Pak Lah. Afterall her big boss was my ex boss.

Once, during Kursus Pegawai Baru in year 2000(tu kot nama kursusnya), the then pengarah, Encik Zainuddin advised us, "Jadi cikgu yang rajin. Orang akan ingat. Sampai sekarang saya ingat lagi cikgu-cikgu saya yang rajin dan baik. Ada yang malas tu, kalau jumpa sekarang pun saya tau, itu jer la ghopenyer. Mmg pemaleh"

I couldnt agree more. Pegangla jawatan setinggi langit pun..errr... Whatever.

Camna pun I m grateful coz a week later I got the confirmation x yah pindah. While I m forever indebted to my 2 bosses, I m also grateful sbb knowing wic frens who had stayed with me tru thick and thin. Ada sorang tu siap lagi buat gossip kata saya nak pindah sebab nak duk dekat ngan boyfren yg keje kat negeri tu. Konpius.. konpius.. Waaa x tau plak saya yang cantik ni ada boyfren. Hebat tu... teringin gak nak kenal, sapa lelaki yang tabah sanggup bergirlfren kan saya tu...Uikkk

And I discovered that the person I despised selama ni, actually have the heart of gold.

My another ex boss, passed a message tru someone, "tell her, kalau betul2 nak pindah, do come to my school. I'll arrange it." Rasanya saya bukanla sensitif sangat, after got the message, saya masuk bilik dan menangis. Partly sebab terharu, mainly sebab nyesal ari tu dlm meeting saya menjawab2 cakap. Oh sungguh kurang sopan.

Gitu la ceritanya... Tapi I didnt accept his offer, for obvious reason, there is no seaside there. Period. I know people will say, apa ke peliknya dia nih... Katala apa pun, but I believe, everyone is free to dream. And my dream is to live by the seaside. Even I have to wait another 30 years, lepas pencen. X kisahla...

As the saying goes, misti ada hikmah disebalik semua ni. One thing for sure, as Kak Kama sum it up long time ago, "bila kita x dapat apa yang kita minta dari Allah, misti ada dosa kita yang belum terampun".

Iskk... waktu tulis ni pun mcm dah tambah saham lagi... better stop now... tapi saya xkan putus harap. Mungkin rezekinya di luar negeri. Adios!


p/s : mcm keluar tajuk la plak...

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Citer adik beradik

Did I told u I have 4 younger bros? First is Acho, Yeop second, Abang or Pijo to his friend is third and Adik/ Arif is the youngest. People used to ask apsal adik tapi gelaran dia mcm yang tua dalam keluarga.

Guess ni la masalah problemnyer bila adik beradik ada 12. Dah abis dah pangkat2 disapu dek kakak2 dia yg lahir dulu.

Since he was in school, Pijo never failed in making us errr petrified kot with his ambition. He wanna be drebar lori. I mean.. apa ke he nyer nak jadi drebar lori.. jadila drebar kapal terbang ke, ketapi ker, jgn la lori. But that's it... Balik2 itu jugak cita2 dia. Dah habis segala motivasi diberi, drebar lori gak pujaan hati dia.

After SPM he did mechanical course on fixing car engine (gitu kot nama dia)... Then g S.Alam kerja kilang. At that time we were convinced he foget his dream to be drebar lori.

Masya Allah we were wrong! At the age of 21, he quits his job, balik kampung and beli lembu. Lembu? Mcm x caya jer.. Then dia jugak dah mencapai cita2nya nak jadik drebar lori when he bought one.

At the age of 23, he is the proud owner of 2 lorries. He bought the second one yesterday.

Seeing his business expand, I must say I am green with envy.

I m 10 years older, with degree, diploma and segala macam sijil kepujian, but after 6 years working, sadly to say there's nothing I can shout of about my achievement. Kot ada pun jadi Guru Popular every year since the anugerah started... Huh?

You see, I m not very gud with words. But then, now I m kakak drebar lori. Honestly, I m proud. X kisahla lori cap ayam pun...

__________________________________________

By the way, just now Baby called. She is my youngest sister who works in MINT. Part of her job g outstation.

At one time sy sangat kecik hati bila Acho cakap, something abt, Baby keje best, g sana sini.. he ended up, Baby kan pegawai.

Masalahnya Andak pun pegawai jugak Acho, tapi my job mmg xder outstaion, duduk aje la kat situ sampai cuti. Sungguh x aci.

Berbalik pd citer, Baby will be in Langkawi for a week beginning Nov 27th. Asked me to accompany her and cam biasa i might be taking a few of my anak2 sedara along. No, dont get me wrong. I m not using government money. She'll fly from KLIA and I will be driving on my expense.

Macam biasa jugak, I have to call my bro in law for permission and buat budget.

Isk!!!

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Dah lama dah, tp baru smpat nak citer

Bila Zana n I booked rumah, soklan-malas-betul-nak jawab was " Apsal nak beli rumah?"

Cess mcm menidakkan my thinking ability je ler... Okla, since we were small both my parents make it clear that this house (rumah yg kitaorg duk skrg ni la) will inherited by the eldest male sibling (Nama dia Acho). It goes with the farm as well. Unlike drama minggu ini yang adik beradik berparang2 nak rebut harta, we just accept it biasa2 jer. No problem.

The problem is, if he's married, idak ler plak nak duk sama2 dah.. That's why I bought a house, dekat2 ngan my hometown. Senang bila dah tua2 nanti boleh g holiday sama2.

Cess panjang betul intro.

In my opinion, umah tu mmg dah habis bagus la, ngan saiz dan lokasi dia. Jirannya pun best, kot ikut kata developer tu ari tu my neighbour will be a Malay doctor, on my left will be an Indian engineer. Tu tanda2 awal x payah bersosial ngan neighbours la coz i foresee depa ni misti jarang je ada kat umah.. i m not gud in small talk, kalau takat g open house sethn sekali tu xper lagi... kalau tiap2 hari kena sembang2 .. iskkk pengsan..

Masalahnya bab nak membayar! . Since booking I've started saving some money for the house.

When last month org developer tu call suh sign agreement and bayar legal fee. Masa tu rasa mcm sakit kepala. After bayar tu duit saya tinggal berapa sen jer..

Aduss.. rumah nak siap nxt yr.. mana nak beli dapur, kitchen cabinet, langsir, peti ais, mesin basuh, pinggan mangkuk, periuk belanga, mangga pintu, alarm, sofa, meja makan, katil, closet, tv, microwave dan bath tub.

The next morning when i read Mawi dapat RM100k sponsorship from Casa Impian, I was like... Arghhh napala sy x sebertuah dia.... Konon2 mcm sedih tahap tenuk la.. Put the key into ignition, drove to Bidor... Partly nak beli something for my sis, mainly tgh sedih sbb xder duit...

Susah rupanya jadi orang miskin...

Then stopped kat Maybank ATM. Pas tu ada pakcik in his mid 40's tu mintak tlg keluarkan duit dia sebab he complained "Ngape x mau plak"... I tried tp denied jugak.. Pas check rupanya dalam akaun tu ada RM50 jer. pakcik tu nk keluarkan duit RM50.

I noticed muka Pakcik tu berubah... He looks like a nice guy, muka org beriman so naturally saya pun sgt rasa bersalah. I asked a very silly question "Perlu sangatker duit tu Pakcik?". He said, "Perlu" I couldnt describe his remark but it was something like nak-jugak-aku-sepakkan-pompuan-ni and udah-nanti-nak-berbuka-karang-nak-makan-apa. Gusar kot perkataan yg sesuai.. I gave him, all the money I posessed (x banyak pun)...

He took the money and dashed off. No tq.. No nothing. I was like.. "Rudenyer pakcik ni"... tapi bila pikir2 balik.. I m sure he was so embarrased to take the money but it was badly needed. Sbb sblm tu sopan jer Pakcik nih, x der la tanda2 rude pun...

Till now whenever I think of my money problem, I always remembered that Pakcik. I always imagine he needed the money sbb anak2 dia komplen asyik lauk ikan bilis jer berbuka. the same thing i did masa kecik2 dulu..

Sedangkan saya nak itu nak ini, padahal kalau xder benda2 tu semua, bukan mati pun. Miskin2 saya, at least bukan ada anak2 yang nangis mlm2 sebab lapar x makan... apa sangatla smer harta2 dunia nih...

Sok2 kalau nampak rumah xder langsir... tu rumah saya la tu...

Hari sabtu yang gitu2

Yesterday was a super duper boring day. Too many plans in my head but none was ok. Therefore I went to the salon-cum-bridal-gallery. For others it one way to pamper oneself. For me it is a gud way to kill time. Gila boring.

Ayu, the beautician was in trouble. She was ironing baju pengantin when someone pay a visit, asking question before she realised it, seluar baju melayu tu dah hangus kena iron. She was numb, tried calling her boss to no avail. Upon seeing her tgh gabra, kesian betul. The fact that the future bride nak amik baju tu ptg tu didnt help also.

Luckily there were 3 pasang baju Melayu in the same colour. Hopefully the future bridegroom wont be too fussy. Ye lah... mana ada orang sengaja nak bakar baju pengantin dikk.. hehehe..

I m glad I wasnt in Ayu's shoes.. kot x .. mau pengsan kot.

_______________________________________

One thing I like abt salon nih, kat tingkat bawah dia ada car wash. I left car key, and told the operator to take his own sweet time.

Huh! It wasnt sweet at all when it rained heavily.
Rugi!!..

_______________________________________
My first planned after facial is to hit the road and go to KL to see Siti.

Pas tu hujan, mood pun jd x ok. Pergh!!

Zana call, and later we went to Mr Hamidi's open house at Klan Halt. Betul tuan2 nama kampung dia memang Klan Halt. It is estimated 2km from Slim River town. Memang orang sini suka kasi nama orang putih gamaknya..

Fortunately I took my mom along coz it was bumpy ride. No offence to the host, but iskkk his house is really hujung dunia. I couldnt imagine how he managed to go to school everyday.

Tapi rumah dia sangat cantikla.. and biskut2nya sangat sangat sangat sedap! Yummy! Thank u Sir!

Saturday, November 11, 2006

CSI - Apa kata mereka

The last time I watched/followed News keenly was on Tianenmen Square Riot. Early 90's tu.. Masa skolah lagi.. After that datangla mcm2 kes pun. Rasa mcm dah tahu kesudahannya.. Anwar Ibrahim case in 99 pun quite interesting. A friend of mine, did her M.A thesis on that masa tu... something to do with TV news on Anwar's Case. X tahu plak apa kesudahan her thesis coz dah lost contact.


These are what Malaysians say..

Pak Lah, Prime Minister
"Nobody is above the law, that is important to remember

Mongolia's honourary consul
Syed Abdul Rahman Alhabshi
"I am confident there will be no cover-up. Those involved in the murder must be punished
severely


Lim Kit Siang
DAP
"An independent investigation is very urgent so that there will be no room for the emergence of a culture of immunity for any wrong. It does not speak well for the government,"


S. Arutchelvan,
coordinator with the rights group Voice of the Malaysian People (SUARAM)
"How can they obtain the explosives so easily?


Hatta Ramli
PAS
An independent inquiry into the misuse of explosives is urgently needed


The lawyer
who had a brief meeting declared to reporters
"Even after today's meeting, I am even more confident" that he is NOT involved. I am very confident, 100% confident; he is Not involved; He gave 100% cooperation, gave his passport, laptop gave a full statement"


Begitu la adanya....

Thursday, November 09, 2006

When thinking aloud is considered subjudiced

I watched Buletin Utama tonite, the person said it could be tantamount to contempt of court for anyone to make statements of fact over .. errr u know..

Tapinya.. I m practicing my human right, The right to know what happen? I wonder...

1. How much a political analyst worth? Ble kasi USD30k, holiday trip, jewellery... uish hebat...

2. How can they get hold of the explosive? open market? kat mana kedainya? or... hak kerajaan? who sign the release?

3. Why someone asked to identify the deceased when... the body is blown up to bits?

4. When someone is murdered, why the accused is remanded for investigating of kidnapping?

5. Since when policeman being part-timer (I tot teachers je buat tuition, doctors buat locum)

Please, I just wondering. Just like I'm wondering why Norita's and the Chinese Boy murderer still at large until now.

Oh ada lagi satu dlm suratkabo tadi yang saya x paham...Ni pun memerlukan penjelasan jugak.

He is being investigated under Section 365 of the Penal Code, for kidnapping with the intention to secretly or wrongfully confining the woman, which carries a jail term of up to seven years, upon conviction.

On the same day, the remand period for a chief inspector from the elite Special Action Force or better known as "Unit Tindakan Khas (UTK), and a woman lance corporal from the Petaling Jaya district police headquarters was extended by another week in connection with the murder.The three police personnel are being investigated under Section 302 of the Penal Code for murder, which carries the mandatory death sentence, if convicted.

Konpius...
Napa hukuman utk encik2 polis tu lebih berat?

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Who pay U mah?

The life of me, I couldnt fathom how can ppl have no respect for others? We are allowed to express our anger but until what extend?

People who grow up with me or anyone around me while I m growing up will give u lengthy explanation how kepala hangin I was.. (pls note the past tense).

I never proud of it.

The turning point was when one day I was so pissed of a clerk in my office. I mean, I don mind ppl buat apapun, tp kalau salah say sorry je la wic is better than salahkan org tu org ni and in the end i found out mmg he was the culprit. I found out when I contacted our society. I lost my temper. I yelled to him.

I had class after that but too shaken to speak. I was trembling when I entered the class. The kids were quiet. I was scared that I'll put it on the kids. . Took me half an hour kot to cool down. I stayed in the class, shaken with anger. Cried? No.. just wasnt my type.

But then and there I knew, being a kepala hangin sgt x sesuai betul dengan kerjaya saya.

It was some 6 years ago, I was young, just graduated and full of hopes not to mention ambitious.

The fact that the boss at the time was very... iskkk kalau-ckp-dah-kira-ngumpat-plak ... didnt help too. I wrote to the society with copies to departments. Pas tu he sort of repeat what the clerk told me. A year later I heard from colleague in the other dept, there was a circular asking bosses to look after their subordinate well being especially anything regarding their salary. The same thing that I complained.

I never see the circular, but the boss was promoted later. That was another story.

From then on, I tried to control my anger. Instead of marah2 i prefer send letter of complains.

Bila talipon kena potong, mak saya marah saya (hari2 lak tu) sy tulis surat kat telekom tanya apsal lak kena potong padahal I swore x penah bayar lewat. Saya fotostat smer slip bayaran dan bil2. Bila dapat balasan saya lekat kat peti ais berbulan2 biar mak baca tiap2 hari.

Bila saya kena marah ngan doktor, sbb refused to come the next day to take medicine ( coz hospital tu 4 jam perjalanan, sy g naik motor je) afterall alasan dia sbb boss dia xder nak sign sbb ubat tu A list. Sy diam jer. Hehehhe tp yg betulnyer nurses tu (konfem sy mmg x kenal diorang masa tu) siap2 sokong saya sbb tu sy x yah ckp apa2, guess diorang pun org miskin mcm sy gak. I am forever indebted to them. That was why bila thn lepas hari2 kuar berita komplen spital kerajaan, I wrote to Utusan dan ckp ramai lagi staff hospital yg betul2 komited mcm kat Hospital yg sy pegi tu. Artikel tu kuar suratkhabar esoknya, n the next routine check up, one of them ckp kat kenkwn dia, ni la yg tulis hari tu, "lain kali jgn tulis hospital tulis Klinik X, baru org nampak sket".

Tapi ye la kan... dalam cuba bersabar2 tu ada gak yg terlepas... kira dah habis sabar la tu..

Mcm td tu rasa mcm nak bakar jer one of my colleague nih. Heklehhh takat pegang jwtn `tu' x yah la nk rasa diri tu besar sgt, bila org buat silap siap treat org tu mcm apa ntah.. rs baguss sgt kot. Lupa diri plak...

But that was all, rasa nak bakar, tp x jugak bakar2.

That is why bila ada big shot ble bom his gfren/wife dia I was like... Waaaa hebatnyer mamat nih. Siap dia suh polis lagi suh buat dirty job... MasyaAllah lagi grand.

Tapi nak tanya gak, beli bom tu duit dia ke amik gomen punya? polis tu buat keje time dia duty ke r time off. Pistol yg dia guna utk tembak tu pistol sendirik ke hak kerajaan.

Bukan apa, saya pun bayar cukai gak.

Tapi tu la kan... burden of proof still kat polis jugak. Tapinya jugak ini high-profile case. Tapinya dlm sejarah ada brp byk high-profile case yg libatkan big shot terkantoi. I don hv the statistic. But I m sure, suratkhabar akan keluarkan nanti2 (harap2la)

Meanwhile, apalak berita murtad tu? Hv to sleep early 2nite need to catch up warta pagi at PerakFM 2morrow..

Sunday, November 05, 2006

ET accident (again ?)

Sangat terkejut.

Happened yesterday on her way to my house. She drove alone to fetch her niece kat quarters hospital. ET ok, tapi keta masuk workshop.

Thanx god polis2 kat Slim River sangat2 baik hati. Perkara yang rumit pun depa tenangkan. One of them siap cakap, "Ye lah siapa yang nak eksiden kan... tapi g report kat balai".

When later I broke the news to Zana, Kak Ma and Nora they agreed on one thing. Polis2 di Slim River sangat berbudi bahasa. Zana cakap memangla diorang tak kasi kurangkan saman tapi at least dia layan kita ngan baik dan jwb soklan kita hingga kita puasshati (believe me, if zana puashati of something tu misti mmg sgt2 bagus sbb zana kan sgt2 particular n suka bertanya sampaila dia rasa puashati) tu pun dah cukup.

On our way to KL hantar ET today, ni la antara pesanan penaja yang paling penting,

"Lainkali kot nak eksiden, eksiden kat Slim River jer, polis dia ok".

Ke smer polis skang mmg dah sangat jujur x amik rasuah? (sapa nak jawab nih?)

_______________________________________________

Soklan lazim on accident.

1. Langgar apa?
Langgar motor.

2. Kat mana?
Depan masjid Slim River.

3. Mcm mana leh langgar?
Terlepas simpang nak buat U-turn, pas tu tetiba ada motor. Nak tekan break tertekan minyak.

4. Laa x kan x nampak?
Betul.. mmg tgk jln clear.

5. Org yg kena langgar tu ok x?
Cedera ringan jer.

6. Brp org?
Sy sorang, motor tu 2 org.

7. Keta ok x?
Teruk, masuk workshop. habisla NCB.

8. Motor?
lagi teruk. somehow dia terperosok masuk bwh keta..


Soklan yang luar biasa.

Kenapa rider ngan his pillion rider tu x mati?
Jgn marah ye tuan2. At least sy dgr 4 org tanya soklan ni. Later et told me ppl kat tempat kejadian tu jugak tanya soklan sama. Afterall motor masuk bwh keta tu..

Waaa... somehow kita lupa, ajal maut, jodoh pertemuan semuanya di tangan tuhan. Dan setiap musibah tu pasti ada hikmah yang tersembunyi dan tak terjangkau dek akal manusia.

Anyways, I thanked Him, my bestfriend has been spared. Aminnn..

Friday, November 03, 2006

SMS

Penah x silap send Sms. Sbenarnya nak send kat org lain tersend kat org lain plak. Lagi haru bila SMS tu berbunyi," dah kasitau dah nesihat Jie td, tp et menjwb plak..."

After few hours Et called, "Et bukan menjawab tapi...."

I was like..."oook"..

No, we r not fighting, u idiot. Et was trying to explain the truth. I was trying hraard not to hurt her feelings.

Dunno, besok we r going to beraya bersama. With her anak2 sedara. A dentist and a magistrate.

Mcm best best kan keje mejestret? Dont u think so? (saja la keluar tajuk sket)

________________________________________________________________

2 days ago I received this sms" Ada rasa nk pi Slim River x besok"

My replied was "Rasa mcm x kot. napa nak g besok? Dah gaji ker?"

My biggest mistake was
a) I read that SMS a day later.
b)She really want to go to Slim River on that day.
c) She didnt have car at the moment sbb ari tu dia balik sini tumpang housemate dia.
d) She ended up took bus to Slim River.
e) I just find out abt it TODAY!!!

Rasa sangat terkilan coz this is a fren who woke up at 3a.m. to send me to the hospital once upon a time. A fren who never think twice when I need her help. A fren whom rode bike tru shine and rain masa zaman mula2 keje dulu. A fren whom lend her shoulder to cry on and most of the time her ears too. Make short a fren tru thick and thin in school.

I cant imagine she walked from her apartment to the bus station. When most of the time nak g toilet pun she preferred naik kereta. And today, when she told me all the way makcik2 tu tanya mana kawan yang lain and she told them depa ada keje. I was... erkkk... Misti dia menangis dalam hati. Kena berjalan tuu...


Sahabat ku Nora,
U see, I m not very gud with words.
When I dont deny I'm a bit on insensitive side (banyak gak sebenarnya) tapi if u do like that again, I'll burnt down ur new tudung kaler pink semalam tu. I mean it.

Guessing games

Last week we had staff briefing. She ended with, if she wont be around next year, or this is the last time we met, pls forgive her and halal everything. It raised a big ? But she refused to reveal anything. Said that she just tru the phase when kids grow up and money wasnt priority anymore.

But then all her students are still studying. I know her hubby kayo, but then since none of her children duk umah I cant see her staying at home alone (most of the time) playing a devoted housewife. No, not her.

My guess was, it had something to do with business venture. I told her after meeting that should she need a PR, do not hesitate to call me. She just smiled, wic make me think I was rite.

This morning I accompanied mom to Tabung Haji. Mommy had a short chat with sapa-ntah-whom- dtg-daftar haji. Suddenly it occured to me... How could I be so blind?

Then, during majlis Hari Raya today, she sponsored cakes for all classes (ye la keta dia besar ble la bwk byk2.. hehehe) and pulut kuning for all teachers.

Yes! people wont sedekah pulut kuning for saja2. In the Malay society pulut kuning only serves during special occasions such as wedding, engagement, khatam quran,byr nazar, cukur jambul, naik boyan (spelling ni invented by Bavani), berkhatan and g mekah.

My guess is the latter.

For she's a person who never flashed her ibadah ( i should add her wealth as well). She had made her pilgrimage looong time ago. Performed umrah almost every year, yet she keeps mum on it all the time. This year we found out she did umrah when uda bumped into her after their solat exactly in front of multazam.

If i m not mistaken few years back she mentioned that she wished to perform her 2nd Haj during cuti sekolah. Ye la, org gomen ble ambik cuti haji 40 hari, sekali jer sepanjang servis (ni baru tau sbb ada masuk dlm soklan PTK).

Kak, kalau salah kita mintak maaf tau. Tapi kalau betul, ada satu jer permintaan kita...

Bawak la kita sekali.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Terrible tailor

Before g keje I stopped at the tailor's house. Paid for my dress wic she took 9 months to finish.

I thanked her when she handed me 3 pasang kain yg dihantar bln 3 and saya nak pakai bulan 6 tapi sampai tadi pun sedang elok jer dlm plastik. What was she thinking?

Before Ramadhan, I told mom I can't bear looking at her face again. Mommy went to her house (sebab dia tau anak dia ni kepala hangin, kang ada plak umah yg terbakar lak karang), asked her to do my dress for Raya. As she put it, "mintak tolongla sangat2 siapkan".

Sampai ari ni pun x siap.

For anybody out there, kot rasa xder disiplin, x yah la jadi tukang jahit. Sungguh menjengkelkan!

Kot rasa x leh buat cakap jer dari awal. Ni smer sanggup. Pas tu bila org nk ambik kasi alasan mcm2. Cakap bohong mcm x ingat kesudahannya nanti kita ke `sana' jugak.
.
Later this evening when I told mom I've paid duit baju, she was like, `Oh?" When I mentioned I took all the kain2 as well, she put down her book and stared me. I didnt offer any further explanation.

Partly because I don want to hurt her feelings, mainly because there was none. I didn't give the terrible tailor my piece of mind outta respect of Mommy.

Kalau tidak... iskkkk!!!!

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

do u know?

before raya:
1.lap habuk2 kat furniture, vase, pictures, electrical appliances and the list goes on.
2. re arrange flowers
3. re-arrange furniture
4. keep all the fragile thingy (u know... vase, crystals, mementos, picture frame and anything wic will attracted bebudak) in the store
5. arrange books neatly
6. ventilate rooms
7. change bedsheet, take out extra pillow and blanket, put on pillow case
8. take out pinggan mangkuk dlm lemari yang pakai setahun 2,3 kali jer tu
9. stock up refrigerator
10.. mop the floor (ni mak ler yg suka buat)

after raya
1. lap balik segala mak nenek tu coz most probably ada lebih banayk cap jari dari habuk.
2. re-arrange flowers (again!) coz somehow budak2 suka betul menarik artificial flowers sampai tunggang langgang.. iskkk!!
3. re-arrange furniture - ari tu to accommodate sedara mara, now back to normal
4. take out all the benda2 yang dah simpan dlm stor.
5. re-arrange book (huh?)
6. tidied rooms
7. change the bedsheets, jemur bantal and tilam, cuci sarung bantal cadar sometimes langsir pun kena cuci sekali
8. simpan balik pinggan mangkuk dalam lemari
9. clean the refrigerator
10. mop the floor... iskk.. iskk


______________________________________

ooo my uncle came at exactly 11.45a.m. today while i was busy kemas umah and susun pinggan mangkuk dlm almari.

I'm glad he came, unfortunately I was working against the clock. Mommy wasnt home. Nor did my bros.

I wish he would call beforehand. Normally he did. Might be hari ni, ntah.. lupa kot.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

titbits of eid mubarak

1. G Sogo with Baby and twin 2 days before raya. Partly sebab nk shopping, mainly sbb risau coz a fren kasi sms, " ko rasa ok x kalau I racun dia?" dia tu was her hubby. I dunno wats going on between them but I m sure it was damn serious. Lawak racun meracun ni x penah keluar sebelum nih.

2. My sister Anjang belot!. Supposed its her MIL house turns. suddenly on Saturday nite they turned up. When we asked her, dia asyik cakap, "korang ni x suka ker anjang balik?".. Of course la suka tp curiousla jugakkan hehhehe.... As a result, she was subject to our constant teased. Honestly since my sisters kahwin ni la first time smer adik beradik balik srentak beraya. Tapi on 2nd raya Abg Mukhlis cepat2 pack barang dan balik la mereka smer ke Pahang.

3. When all my 14 anak2 sedara bertemu rasa mcm pening betul. Umur pun rapat2 (8 months - 10 years old) jadi perangai pun sepesen. Yang besar2 puasa yang kecik duk menunjuk2 makan.. uishh!!! mencabar iman betul tu.. Tapi yg paling x tahan bila boys start main mercun. Ni smer sponsored by my bros la pun. Nak kena depa nih.

4. Jawa came. She was my junior in school. I do not know why but somehow I felt sad seeing her raising 3 kids on her own. How she managed juggling times for 2 jobs and her Business Admin part time class. I saluted u Jawa.

5. Jie celebrated his birthday in Lanjut Golf Resort, Rompin with his loved ones. Congrats, many happy returns...

6. Mr Hamidi walnut cake was yummylicious. Fuh!

7. Err.. Since bila tah, I stopped beraya with N. On my part, rasa x aci coz every year after that `incident' rasanya I was the one yang terhegeh2 when we had nothing to talk pun when we met except makan, minum air and tgk tv sama2 and kasi a few comments during commercial break. Bagi pihak dia x tau plak apa alasannya. Watever it is, dia tetap a good friend, teman tp x mesra sangat.

8. Geram betul ngan Yus sbb beli carbonated drinks banyak2. Masalahnya bila ada air tu abis anak2 sedara ngan mak sedara dia ni x nak minum plain water dah..iskkk

9. This year I did not bake biscuits. Mommy was worried sampai dia nak g beli jam2 tu jugak once she knew AJK biskut raya nih mmg gantung oven thn nih sbb I foresee a week before raya mmg bengkok punya. Tapi sebenarnya mommy bukan suka mkn biskut pun.. Gitula kasih seorang ibu.. Cewahhh.. tapi kasih seorang Mak Andak plak, awal2 dia dah tempah kuih raya. huuhuhuu..

10. Beraya kat umah baru et yang memang baru siap. Even dapur pun xder. Luckily Baby and I brought some Kuih raya and a tumbler of plain water. Et had a bottle of mineral water. Tapi best .... kat tepi umah dia ada pokok limau purut yang lebat giler buahnya, besar2 lak tu..

11. Zana took her mom and younger sibling to Hot Springs on 3rd raya and the next day they went to Cameron Highlands. Waaa mcm kaya jer Zana nih, maklumla allowance dia pun dah 10k. hebat!!
(dat was an error made by AG coz they accidentally add in extra 000 in her paydlil­čść)

12. Guess Nora is gitu2 now coz on raya day she texted me tanya meaning of English words. Sesuatu yang hanya berlaku jika dia in relationships. wuhuuu

13. two persons who are dear and near to me kurus kering sebab tgh sedeyy.. seorang baru putus tunang and the other wish to walk away from her marriage.Me? I gained 4 kilos in four days.

14. I tot I had accept the fact that yg itu was a past tense. But then.... the mere mention of Dungun makes me feels terribly sad and empty.

15. Kunfit and Azhan (Et's anak2 buah in EON Bank) mengutuk our (et and i) habit yg suka g mana2 mcm la tu sebelah umah jer. Yesterday I drove to Ipoh semata2 nak g kedai buku. Tapinya tu la satu2nya kedai buku terpakai yg terdekat pun. Buat apa membazir beli buku2 baru yg mahal kalau baca sekali dah x best pun. Lagipun, ingat senang ke nak cari buku2 klasik? Kat kedai tu je akak jumpa buku2 Erich Segal - the class, the doctors, The act of faith dan smlm jumpa buku Man, Woman and child. Dah bertahun cr buku2 nih, baru jumpa.. Jangan arap korang nak pinjam buku akak!!!

16. Dunia ni x la besar sgt. Sebenarnya bila kita tipu sooner or later ppl will find out. Dulu Mr Razorblade nih selalu cakap ngan tunang dia, dia g offshore for few days so handphone dia off. Rupanya2 dia g holiday ngan pompuan lain. We found out tru blog pompuan tu. Sah-sah ada his pics sekali. Moral of the story, nak menipu pun kena ada skill dik!! Deep down in my heart I pitied him. A mirror would be a perfect present for him. Sila la cermin muka tu dulu.

17. raya tahun ni Anuar Zain xder plak kat tv eh? x aci betul

18. Sewaktu saya menulis entry ni, saya terkenangkan seseorang yang jauh di mata, dan kalau ikut teorinya x mungkin akan dapat berjumpa lagi... unless... ntah... kalau saya g Mekah lagi kot.

19. Citer pasal et, Sejak berzaman2 dulu I told her my ambition is to be Permaisuri Agung. I believe smer benda bermula ngan cita2. And she told me Pak mentua dia sangat rapat ngan Sultan kat satu negeri nih. Very close sampai function sepupu sepapat sultan tu pun Pak mentua dia dpt invitation. Sy dah suruh et kasi my resume siap ngan latest pix tp till now et x menjalankan tugas dia. Tak suka betul ngan et (errrr ada sesapa ada cermin ????).

End of Ramadhan

Pernah dengar x ayat nih?

"Relax ah.. nanti tua-tua kita tobat ler!!!"

Having spent my entire secondary school life in hostel, these were our fav words. Especially bila ada org nesihatkan - jangan wat gitu, jangan wat gini.(ye lah time ceramah agama kitaorg tdo, time study tgk tv, time tarawih g semayang lewat2, khemah ibadat langsung x nak join, masa free bergossip, org mengaji, kita sebuk baca urtv - sungguh x beriman)

Bila kenang2 balik rasanya I was very the jahat coz after school when a fren bumped into me,a nd she told another fren about it, the only think she asked was, "did she put on her tudung?" . When she said yes, the other fren seriously told her" misti salah orang".. iskkk... tu belum sebut lagi when i joined a qiamulail diorang (ni ada la yang sampaikan sambil gelak berguling2) pakat ramai2 x percaya, until they saw me di tempat kejadian. Uishh.... I know I have to repent. Soon!

Masalah prob nyer mana nak tau bila dah tua udah x berapa sihat plak...

Cesss!!! ..

Honestly, inilah Ramadhan yang paling saya nanti2kan. Partly sebab dah insaf sket and mainly sebab rasa diri dah tua.

Then when a 19-year-old girl, our ex-student passed away few days before Ramadhan, I cant help but thinking of what ustaz always told us, " mungkin inilah Ramadhan terakhir kita"..Dulu2 bila ustaz cakap, haram nak dgr pun.

Seperti lazimnya `orang2 tua yang lain" I promised myself nak kejar pahala sebanyak2nya. I've made lists of things to do during Ramadhan. Panjang plak tu...

Somehow, as faisal tehrani sums up, Kita merancang, Dia merancang. Perancangan siapakah yang lebih hebat?

Make short, sangat sedikit dari perancangan itu dapat saya laksanakan.

Justeru, unlike past years, this year's Syawal saya sambut ngan hati yang berat.

I must add, with a tad of regret too.

Friday, October 20, 2006

A Friend in Need

Apsal smer orang sari dua ni asyik2 citer raya? Paling berbisa when Lan asked me to go to JB, as he put it, "to get the feel of balik kampung". Macam nak bakar jer dia..

BTW, Bavani, the one and only Indian student in my school were absent since yesterday. Which means I missed a chance to wish her Happy Deepavali. I can't find Seelan too today. Again, Seelan is the one and only Indian teacher in our school.

Weh, I was quite surprised with students' presentations. Nad had a talk show. The topic was Love. Kot ye pun jgn la masukkan cekgu dia sekali sbg peserta. Unfortunately, she did. When she asked me who do you love most.,I was like...

That was tough!

Dunno why I told em' besides my family members the two persons I love most are my best frens, Jie and Et. Or was it Et and Jie? I dunno why, later that nite I called both of them up and told em'. Was very childish.. Yurk!!!

But how I can not?

The nite before I talked to Et and she asked me if I need raya packet? told her I need the money too. The next day she send 140 pcs raya packets with some money meant for my 14 anak2 sedara. Well... I was speechless!!!

As for Jie, He always makes me feel good about myself. Always had time for me. Except ye lah kan... he didn't buy china silk tu x kira la kan... but then itu pun dia kasi penerangan panjang lebar y he didnt b sampai I have to stop him. Honestly, china silk tu bukan la penting pun kan... tapi kalau ada mcm best la jugak eh...hehehehhe

Sangat membafflingkan talking about best frens when raya mood is in the air. Can't help it coz I think I missed em' much lately.

Anyways, today we end up our school day with bermaafan sessions. Somehow children had their way to touch our heart. Zaman duduk asrama time sekolah dulu I was one of the kepala yg suka gelakkan orang yg suka nangis bila mintak maaf especially during farewell party.

You see, i dont see what's the point of nangis2 when we will see each other few months later.

But today, when the children start menangis, I had teary eyes too. I m deeply touched!!! Guess, being a teacher had mellowed me.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

What Goes Round Will Comes Round ( or was it the other way around?)

Dunno, I m the biggest fan of reality show. Masa dulu2 la. This year mana ada masa tengok tv (dah tua kot malas nak nk tgh tv)

In a way watching the contestants fighting towards their goal is full of educative value. There are 2 incidents that I remember most.

First was from America Next Top Model. Forgotler wic season. But then it was when Yaya ngumpat2 others when they late for their modelling assignment coz accompanying sapa tah to buy shoes. Basically only one girl need to buy shoes but somehow yg lain2 tergedik2 sama.

She said many harsh and unkind things. Gilo.. Then lepas tu came her turn. Dalam series yang berikutnya she was late sbb g shopping. Masalah negara nombor satunya, they were in Japan, the country wic punctuality is very famous for. Nombor 2, dia sorang2 jer and nombor 3, since she was alone and in foreign country she almost lost!


Second, from The Apprentice Season 2. A lady degraded her opponents who sell chocolates in identical chilli red tube. If I m not mistaken, she called them whore. X lama pas tu dia plak tanggalkan her skirt as a gimmick to raise more money.

See.. when we bad-mouthed other, whatever we said will come back to us.

I learned my lesson yesterday.

Weh... pas ni x nak dah ngumpat Jerk. Sangat menyesal.

Yang insaf
Kawan2

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Pak Sulung Saya

Puas saya cuba nak ingat kenangan manis ngan Pak Sulung. Susah betul.

Sebab banyak sangat yang manis.

I wont forget masa kecik2 dulu dia slalu dtg bwk goodies n x lupa kasi duit kat kitaorg nak beli aiskrim. Saya ingat Pak Sulung kaya tapi rupanya dia ada kedai kecik jer.

I wont forget, unlike other uncles/adult yg suka menyakat dan ejek2 kami budak yg mesken, Pak Sulung treated us with genuine love and caring. No he never said that. But his actions speaks louder.

I wont forget the way Pak Sulung treated my late dad. Despite x dapat kasi hidup mewah pada his sister and anak2 sedara dia, he never looked down on him and he always talked to him with his utmost respect. At least sampai ke akhir hayat my dad, he used to say "Baik betul Pak Sulung tu".

Pak Sulung was a kind of small celebrity in our circle. Eventhough, he had major stroke a year after his pilgrimage which left him paralysed, people still had tremendous respect for him. In one of my cousin's wedding, I saw people beratur nak salam ngan Pak Sulung. Yess.. so many of them.

Pak Sulung sangat.. errr alim.. Tapi unlike orang lain yg bising2 suh orang mengaji ke sembahyang ker, Pak Sulung lead by example. I dont think dia ada tinggal sembahyang coz during his short stay in my home a few years ago, I used to see him sembahyang tiap kali masuk waktu. Tu sangat mengkagumkan saya sebab it wasnt easy for him nak g bilik air ambil air sembahyang with his condition. But he persisted. Kekadang bila dia sangat2 x larat, dia sembahyang sambil baring.

Tahun ni, alhamdulillah Pak Sulung x tinggal puasa langsung. Even kesihatannya x berapa baik, tapi dia tetap gembira nak berpuasa. Rasa kerdil betul saya ni kalau bandingkan ngan Pak Sulung coz ari tu saya bukak puasa sebab gastrik sehari. Cesss... padahal Pak Sulung sakit lagi teruk.

Dalam banyak2 hari, Allah pilih nak menjemput Pak Sulung pada malam Nuzul Quran. Pada pukul 2 pagi Pak Sulung minum susu. Sewaktu Mak Sulung kejutkan dia bersahur pada pukul 4 pagi, Pak Sulung sudah tiada.

Mintak maafla kalau saya ckp ni mcm exxagrate sket. Punyala la ramai pay their last respects to him, It was more like the wedding ceremony except for the makan2 and huhahuha thingy la kan..

Sedara mara, handai taulan jauh dan dekat datang berkumpul.

Saya pasti, mereka pun seperti saya juga, pernah terhutang budi dan masih terkenang budi baik Pak Sulung. Atau mungkin terkilan kerana berharap untuk berhari raya bersama.

Saya x suka menyesal apa2. Tapi saya sedikit terkilan sbb x beritahu Pak Sulung yang salam dia sudahpun saya sampaikan, permintaan dia juga sudah saya ucap di tempat yang sepatutnya. Ole-ole untuknya pun masih belum saya kasi. Saya tahu saya lalai dan cuai. Saya tahu saya suka bertangguh. Saya tahu saya kurang peka menjaga perasaan orang.

Sewaktu kali terakhir melihat wajah Pak Sulung, saya tahu, buruknya sikap saya jika dibandingkan ngan Pak Sulung.

I wish I could a mak sedara/ sister / frien/ relative / teacher /muslimah like him. Coz he always make others feel loved and cared.

I hope he knows how proud I am jadi anak sedara dia. I told all and sundry abt it except him.

Al-Fatihah.

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Stupid proud

On Tuesday rasa semacam. Exhausted sgt kot. Cam selalu bila dilanda masalah cenggitu pendekatan sy tetap x berubah, mandi, makan sikit and tidur berselimut setebal mungkin. Selalunya the next morning misti ok.

Then bila the next morning still x brp ok, my mom suh g klinik sbb katanya skrg ramai org demam. Therefore, before g skolah i stopped at the clinic.

Satu la habit buruk cekgu (ke sy sorang jer?hehheheh) mmg la degil. HA tu suh MC tp ngan konfiden ckp x payah coz slalu sy demam sekejap. HA tu nasihatkan jgn spread the virus. Ewahh..

I keep my distance from students. Mcm bijakla tu kononnya... Yg x bijaknya I almost passed out walking from class to class... Bila the children start soal mcm2 kepala saya pun spinning sekali.

I know I have to go home when one of them said, "Boleh x saya pegang teacher, takut teacher jatuh"...

Unfortunately, jgn kata nk balik umah, nak g ke nearest bilik jahitan tu pun rasa x larat. Somehow i managed to reached there safely, Nora gave me panadol and helps me to sleep.

When I woke up bila ntah, I was 30 minutes late for 2Annur. Dahla kelas tu top floor(selama ni x perasan plak...) Once I reached there, wic seems a lifetime... I was speechless, panting for breath. Took me few minutes before I could apologize profusedly. Told them I will replace my class, but at the time being ask them to do summary task which I've been prepared a week earlier.

Maka, apabila pada hari berikutnya saya pergi semula ke klinik tu, walaupun saya dah beritahu kat HA tu sekarang saya x demam lagi tapi dia still tanya nak berapa hari MC? Maka saya pun MC pada hari Jumaat.

Seperti kawan baik saya, Siti cakap, "Orang tu tau la either ko sakit teruk ke x. Yang ko x MC tu napa? Bengong ke hapa".

Ye lah... saya mengaku saya bersalah, saya bengong.. Hopefully cuti 3 hari ni akan menyihatkan saya semula. Sangat memalukan la bila terpengsan di bulan puasa. Cesss...

Opsss.. as Ustaz Ariff told me the other day, tu tanda kasih Allah dan menggugurkan dosa2 kecil.

Misti banyak dosa eh... Sgt menyesal...

p/s Jie x beli baju tu sbb.... alasan dia panjang... tp rasanya saya dan siti sudah x penting lagi pada Jie kot.. uhuk2..

Monday, September 25, 2006

Siri Cerita Teladan: Siri 2-5

Bapa Borek Anak Rintik?
I wonder napa org nak tiru ayam? I found the sayings totally irrelevant. At least after visit a friend's house last Saturday.
She was my sister's housemate 7 years ago. Despite dah tukar kerja they still friends. Her father is a policeman. Mother a housewife. Time g umah dia ari tu nampak mcm kuarga bahagia jer. Had 5 daughters.
Later mcm x caya when my sister told me one of her sister is castaway. She was the eldest, so she took care of her younger sisters. One of them lepas habis diploma stayed at her house.
One day she lost her ring, cari2 x jumpa. Few month pas tu surat pajak gadai dtg. Jeng222 rupanya her sister g gadaikan her ring plus brg kemas makcik2 dia sekali. Hebat tu. Diorang tebus balik. Nasihat jgn ckp la..Her sis lari, diorang cari. Adala ok kejap. Then pasal keje plak.. dia g keje mana2 suka gaduh. Gaduh ngan colleague ok lagi, ni gaduh ngan boss tu... Bila gaduh dia start ckp " Awk tau x ayh saya KETUA POLIS ........"
Mmgla her father is a Ketua Polis ....... tp bila bila buat perangai buruk tu toksahla libatkan mak bapak. Parents dia pun hangin tahap diplomala..
Bab gaduh satu hal, kena tangkap basah, kena tangkap hal lain... ayah dia jugak yang kena tanggung. Bila nasihat lari.. Now dia hilang camtu saja. The parents slalu sebut nama dia. tp dia? x tau la... sbb x jumpa..
Well... bila tgk her other sisters yg cute, funny and polite rs mcm x leh nak caya ada gak kelapa komeng in her family. I believe, the parents dah buat yg terbaik for their daughters.. Moga2 the castaway daughter will find the right path and return for good. Aminnn

Pisau Cukur
Dulu2 simpulan bahasa ni strictly for women, lately it applies to men too.
Adala sorang lelaki ni dah bertunang. Tetiba nak kawin tp ngan org lain. Hantaran tip top, buat persiapan beria2... Tp smer pompuan yg sponsor.
Pompuan tu sgt kaya and lelaki itu sgt opportunist.
Keluarga lelaki itu sangat malu. His father called and nangis. A thing which he never did in the past.
Keluarga bekas tunang itu sangat gembira dan one of them berhajat nak buat kenduri doa selamat to show her gratefulness.
Menyedari bahawa apa2 saja boleh jadi dalam dunia cyber ni, jd kepada lelaki itu in case u read my blog, I would like u to know, Kan akak penah ckp u x kan dpt take care of her smpai tua? Tu la dulu marah2 kata akak mcm2, now apa dah jadi? Sgt predictable la u nih, mcm wayang thn 50-an. By the way I wish u joy, and to the future bride, wish u luck coz u desperately need it". Sekian.

Napa nak nangis?
Sy percaya ajal, maut, jodoh pertemuan dah ditentukan. Kita hanya berusaha.
Justeru itu dengan rasa konpius tahap tenuk saya x paham kenapa kita tak boleh mengucapkan selamat tinggal secara terhormat bila usaha kita gagal.
A friend nangis2 ckp she felt deeply hurted with her so called bf. Sebenarnya dulu sy pun penah gak buat keje x berfaedah tu. Dah sah2 org tu dah x berminat tp still gak convinced myself smernyer masih boleh diselamatkan. Cesss buang karan.
Sebenarnya kita ble rasa sendiri when something is over or the spark is no longer there. Bercinta mcm pilih kasut gak. Masa kat rack mmg la dia nampak cantik, tp belum tentu sesuai dipakai. Kalau sesuai pun belum tentu tahan lama. takat pakai kejap dah melecet... wehhh lagi buang karan.. Jadi pakaila kasut burung penguin. Loafers yg saya beli 3 thn dulu masih lagi tip top. Pas tu kasut keje kaler hitam yg sy beli ngan rega RM200++ tu pun kemain lagi comfy. Hebat dan mantap. Afterall nak beli lagi mmg xder laa...
Oppss berbalik pada topik asal nih... Ye la kan... kita ni bukannya nak idup lama sgt, ntah esok, ntah lusa padam la.. xkan la kita nk spend seumur idup ngan org buatkan kita menangis tu jer.. Afterall.. org tu bukan best sgt pun. Best lagi kasut cap penguin.
Jadi marilah kita mulakan kehidupan baru. Ada byk lagi perkara menarik di dunia ini. Ada banyak lagi perkara yang masih belum kita lakukan. Ada banyak lagi janji2 kita yang belum ditunaikan. Kalau kehadiran kita sudah tidak penting lagi, baiklah mengundur diri secara terhormat. Yang penting kita telah berusaha sehabis baik. DIA lebih tahu apa yang terbaik untuk hambaNya.

Ke negeri China
Tak ni bukan citer teladan. Saja jer nk kasi tau.. Jie g China. Ari ni baru balik. ET and I tergedik suh dia belikan China Silk. Sahabat karibku Jie.. I missed u (mcm x ikhlas)...

Siri Cerita Teladan 1: Genggam tak tiris

Following the tradition of Puteri Gemilang Project, we had makan2 sponsored by the Mentors on the closing day. Last yr most of the mentors masak2 for their charges except org yg x reti sgt masakla including me.

This year I asked Orchids to organise it themselves since I had a tight scheduled. Those yang took part in any competition this yr they'll get free meal, those who didnt had to pay... Rasa mcm bijak jer idea nih coz I want them to learn that org yg suka mengelat memang rugi. Wuhuuu...

I must say that Dila and Fiqah had done an excellent job. Atau sebenarnya their moms yg had done the excellent job. The food was superb. Tq.

Berbalik pd tajuk citer ni kan... While other groups enjoying their makan2 time, ada plak satu grup tu makan hati. Siap nangis2 lagi.

Citernyer gini. They make mistake when 2 person g order kat kedai for their group. Makanya org kedai tu siapkan la order tu instead for 22 person dah jadi 44. 1st problem, since kecoh tu dah terlambat plak org kedai tu nk antar mknan sbb nk g Sembhyang Jumaat. They asked their mentor to get the food. Her replied was " suami sy x kasi".

Her charges mintak tolong other mentors and their standard replies were, " Each group has their own mentor. Where's yours?" Walaupun the particular mentor ada kat situ, haram dia nak menjwb ke hapa. Last2 the children had to walk and pick the food.

Mslah keduanya. Sapa nak bayar?
Since they just realised their mistakes jam2 itu mana nak cekau duit. After collection they still short of RM50. Imagine budak2 sekolah nk cari duit byk tu in 4 hrs... Huh? The fact that anak toke kedai tu was a silver medalist dlm acara lempar cakera sekolah2 Asean doesnt help too. The mere mention of her name pun dah seriau, ni kan pulak when she came and ask for money.

They requested their mentor to pay first and promised to pay her later. To which she replied " Saya xder duit, saya baru beli rumah". Lepas tu the children begged from other mentor and get scolded, "Where's ur mentor?"

The girls were scared and humiliated. Until they told their ordeal to ustazah. She confided to me and we lent them the money with one condition, tell the mentor they did not halalkan the food she took. (Despite x bayar satu sen, she invited her hubby mkn sekali and later tapau 4 bungkus nasi ayam, kuih masuk keta dia)..

The girls refused tp I convinced them, ni ustazah yg suruh tau.. And the Ustazah nodded her approval.

They see her. They cried. But they didnt took the money because as they told us later, " Kalau saya kasi duit ni, saya ada dua ringgit jer. Susu untuk anak2 saya pun xder".

By the way, the girls x ckp pun diorang x halalkan apa yg dia makan sbb x sampai hati. Masalah negaranya kalau budak umur 14thn yg xder income pun x sampai hati nak pau duit orang, ni kan plak dia yg umur sekali ganda.

Honestly sy pun rasa malu kat the girls sbb paksa diorang g mintak duit kat that particular mentor and suruh plak diorang ckp cenggitu. Apa punya cekgu daaa... But today, when the Ustazah gave me half of the money(dia ajak byr sama2) and she asked me to tell the girls dia halalkan duit tp dia x halalkan what the mentor took, suddenly i was relieved.

At least I m not alone.

My message to her: Awak memang jahat mcm tayar!!!!

Masjid mana yang tarawih paling laju?

That question was posted by Ayeen. Appaaraa.. mcm salah kaunter jer...(u know what I mean.. hehehhe)

Since early 70's or to be fact, since I was a toddler, masuk jer bulan Ramadhan kalau x citer pasal buka puasa misti citer pasal sahur. Nanti hujung2 puasa baru citer pasal baju raya n kuih raya. Mcm xder identiti jer... Therefore, I'll talk abt something else.... cececcecececece

Since xleh ngumpat jadi sy namakan SIRI CERITA TELADAN (SCT). Lebih kurang mcm thin story books for children tu la..

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Citer wahid

Dah lama dah nk citer tp byk bebeno yg beerlaku.

Ari tu saw a child tgh baca paper.. Peep tru her shoulder.. and waaaaaaaaaaa I was like..SAYA SUKA WAHID NIH.

She was like "Wahid who?"

Maka saya dgn rela hati menerangkan I first saw him in TV3 during Buletin Utamafew years ago. Was the new Telekom CEO masa tu kot.. x ingat sgt. Tp yg ingat he said,

if we put 100% effort we can beat others experience..

cenggitu kot lebih kurang. because of that words of wisdom saya berusaha gila2. hehheheh.. tu la kuasa kata2..

He was awarded CEO of the Year kongsi ngan Lundal. I couldnt agree more!! walaupun sy x tau sapa lagi dlm list.

In my opinion Telekom byk berubah under him. One thing for sure the staff melampau2 efficient. I got 2 red letter to warned me that the payment hadnt been made instead of i swore both of it were paid few days before the end date.

Anyway. Tu cuma satu contoh je la kan.. Honestly I m proud of Datuk Abdul Wahid achievement, jd saya pun siap ckp kat the children... I HOPE U'LL BE BETTER THAN HIM

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Lagi2 Tuisyen

Banyakla plak comments on tuition news ari tu... Honestly I envied those teachers yg ride the gravvy tuition trains tu.. (ayat surat kabar)..


Sbnrnyer buat tuition nih can be very depressing jugak (in my case la)... Felda kasi baucer tuisyen for every students. Mind u.. every students... Xleh komplen la coz I m sure felda dah pk pjg2 sblm kasi kat... every students... Last year 2 yrs I had to teach 2 classes. Dua-dua pun kelas hujung...

My class was held on Saturdays. So here is my typical schedule.

7.45 -8.15a.m. - smpai and waiting for students
*8.16 - 8.45 a.m - talipon students
9.00 - 9.30 a.m - tuition class (selalunya out of 20 yg datang less than 8)
9.30 - 9.45 a.m - breakfast (sponsored by teacher)
9.45 - pukul berapa la (ikut suka students) - tuition class

* Transcript talipon
Ms X : Akum. Boleh cakap dengan Fulan bin Fulan
Mother : Wslam. Dia tidur lagi la.. Siapa nih
Ms X : Saya Ms X, cikgu dia... (dgn suara very the professional)
Mother: Sekejap ye Cikgu.. (To his son) Fulan cekgu hang talipon, bangkit deras!
Fulan : Akum. Ada apa cikgu..
Ms X ; Tidur eh? kan ada tuition..
FUlan : Adaker? x tau pun.. pukul berapa?
Ms X : Pukul 8.. kan dah cakap last week?
Fulan : ye ker? x ingat la.. tapi saya ada hal hari ni
Ms X : Hal apa?
Fulan : nak g memancing/ kuar ngan kawan/ g kebun/ g pekan/ tgk dragon ball/ (differed every week)
Ms X : Dtg la tuition dulu. Saya tunggu nih..
Fulan : Ala dah pukul berapa dah nih?
Ms X : Tengok tu sekejap jer... Abis xtvt awk balik la
Fulan : Tengokla dulu. X janji tau..
Ms X : Tgk tu... Boleh tlg cari kwn awak A, B, C dan D sbb diorang xder no talipon.
Fulan : InsyaAllah.. Bye

Mostly every week skrip ni berulang. Sometimes on Friday I met all the students personally reminding them abt the class. Tp tu pun ikut nasib gak.. kalau ada kenduri kawen ramai la dtg.. sbb depa berkumpul kat skolah sblm konvoi ke umah kendurik.. Cesss..

Rasa sgt kecik hati when satu hari my sis yg kebetulan balik cuti tanya, DIORANG X SUKA ENGKO KOT DIK????

I've been thinking the same thing jugak.

Maybe my PnP was sooo boring. God knows how hard I tried to make my lesson interesting and relevant... But seems like they never appreciate my effort. Still have to call them week after week.

Yang x suka kat sy tu mungkin la betul jugak... tapinya these students, sekolah hari biasa pun selalu x dtg... Adusss...

At the end of the month, was forced (yep... have too) claimed the payment. Then bila dpt duit tu (RM40x2classes x 4 times a month)... sangat x gembira...

Weirdo Wednesday


Cenggini kot lebih kurang isi artikel dalam Jurnal Pendidik, tajuknya "Yang Ibu Bapa mahu guru tahu"...

" Saya tahu anak saya nampak biasa saja pada cikgu tapi bagi saya dia sangat istimewa. Saya sangat sayangkan dia dan saya harap cikgu pun dapat memberi kasih sayang pada dia juga. Tolong jangan malukan dia di hadapan kawan-kawannya"

Okla... there are 2 incidents happened today. Mari kita sama-sama memikirkannya..

1. Dia mengamuk...
Since we've finished the syllabus so before hit the drilling gave kids a few enjoyable activities (pada sy enjoyable la kan... x tau la pada kidz)...

Today we had satu xtvt rahsia. Lokasi ialah di dalam library. I noticed F wasnt around, therefore, after done with explanation and tawaf 15 kali to make sure all the children understood and can execute their tasks, i asked Amir to find F. Ye la ... tu 1st period.. mungkin F dtg lewat kot.. Tak... sy x marah...

Bila F dtg, dia takut2 nak masuk, tp sy x marah jugak... Then dia duk buat keje after I explained personally to him. Dia kata x pen dia xder sbb jatuh dlm toilet, sy x marah pun... saya kasi pen...

Zana and Kak Ma masuk library. Upon seeing the children, Zana tetiba ... "mana Abu?" Pas tu Abu kena ceramah sbb smlm dia ponteng sekolah.. Since Kak Ma pun ngajar kelas yg sama so kami bertiga berpadu suara menceramah Abu. Abu yg brutal tu smpai nangis teresak2...

Pas tu g kat cooler coz nak ganti balik air Zana yg sy minum.. (penat tu kasi ceramah).... Rasanya sekejap jer.. .When I came back... jeng..jeng...

Smer org tgh senyap.. Kerusi tunggang langgang... they told me F ngamuk and lari keluar kelas. Siap gegar rak-rak buku lagi tu.. Aduss.. Buku berterabur..

Budak2 nih bila ditanya, haram x ngaku.. (rasanya mmg diaorg x buat salah kot)..

Makanya dgn bantuan 2 boys we searched high and low for F. Last2 jumpa dia dalam kelas sorang2, darah menitik2 atas lantai. Tingkap pecah. rasanya dia karate cermin tingkap tu...

Lama kitaorg pujuk, barulah dia tenang. Basuh luka dia(x besar sgt tp dlm) dan taruk iodin. Ajak g klinik dia x nak... Sumpah... saya x marah pun...

Pujuk dia ajak mkn, dia x nak... ok saya x marah..

Pujuk dia suh baring2 kat surau... dia x nak... saya x marah...

Saya x marah sbb tau F is a special kid who need special attention.

Saya dah tanya F kenapa dia mengamuk... F kata xder apa2. Tapi kawan2 dia kata Abu tolak dia sbb Abu tuduh F yang report dia ponteng.. when in fact bukan F pun...

Iskkk... Rasa mcm... Hisshh Abu nih..*sighh!!*

2. Dia pengsan
Ni kelas lain. A boy asked sweets fr a girl. This girl refused to give, he searched her bag. Bila x jumpa he threw all her books dr top floor (tkt 3) ke bwah..

this girl furious, report to a teacher. The teacher pinched him and told him wat he did was wrong and since dia buat harta org mcm harta dia, maka kutipla sampah2 tu sekali... sampah org lain pun sampah dia jugak.

Then, when the teacher finished her class, the boy retaliated. Kicked desks and one of them terkena the frail girl. She passed out..

Kesimpulan.
(Ni bagi pihak diri saya sendiri)
Saya pun selalu rasa anak tan sri/ puan sri/ datuk/ datin/tuan/puan/ pakcik/makcik/kakak dan encik2 istimewa. Betul, cuba sedaya upaya melayan dan mendidik mereka dengan penuh kasih sayang. Saya pun xkan sanggup nak memalukan mereka

Tapi tan sri/ puan sri/ datuk/ datin/tuan/puan/ pakcik/makcik/kakak dan encik2 cuma ada seorang saja anak, but I have 150 children to take care of.

What if the girl and F are your own, bolehkah tan sri/ puan sri/ datuk/ datin/tuan/puan/ pakcik/makcik/kakak dan encik2 bersabar dan tersenyum maniss?

***********************************************

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Monday Madness (exaggrated edition)

Waaa... dah puas cuba tutup mulut tapi ternganga gak bila bc prime news kat NST. Teachers earned 10k tru tuition fee. Huyoooo... hebat gila tu... No commentla coz fokus hidup bukannya sama. (cess!! mcm skima jer jwpann ni)...

Dahlia's had Cooking Class today. We were invited to taste their end product. Some were excellent, but the best goes to Moi (betul ke spelling ni). I m not really into Moi actually, but this one is superlicious. So I ended up took 2 spoonfuls- banyakla tu coz I m on diet now( tapi x jugak kurus)...

A temperamental teacher naik hangin coz a girl bohong kata dia dah sembahyang when in fact ada yang report dia x. This particular teacher suh dia cari saksi, and kantoi coz the saksi (one of her bestfrens) ckp.. belum la. Maka dapatla dia penampar laju. Dia kena perform sembahyang and after that she got an apple wic the teacher brought for her lunch tp kasi kat that girl coz she was really late for canteen after pray. Guess the apple does wonder coz during Asar prayer the same girl cepat2 sembahyang and still talked sweetly to the temperamental teacher as nothing happened.

Alamak... ada org menangis lagi.... konpius..konpius... tapi menurut org yg memulakan pilem mari menangis nih, dia sangat puas hati sebab mmg dia berniat nak menyuarakan apa yang terlintas dipikiran sejak hari Sabtu lepas lagi... Seperti yg diconfided kp kawan baiknya later that day. " Now i can rest my mind, knowing now she knows my piece of mind. Not that I mind doing extra work, But I can't just minding my own business when...you know... sampai bila she wanted to be like that?"...Oppss... dont put 2 n 2 2gether... Ni bukan org yg sy tinggalkan mlm sabtu tu sbb dia lambat. yg sy tulis dlm en3 sblm nih... hhehehehhe Apparaaa kan org itu... very teacher-like-la..

Buat pertama kalinya saya menang adiah bertuah. Wuhuuuu x pernah2... Tapi yg x bestnyer Ayeen yg baru datang ke tapak assembly hv to yell.. weehhh ur name arr.. amik adiah..Cess rupa-rupanya MC hv been calling my name for quite a while.. Sorry.... Adusss malunya ngan the children... pot calling kettle black!!!.. tp menang adiah tu suka sangat2... tq!!

Ni citer kwn baik saya. Namanya Siti. Dia keje bank. Td customer kuar duit tp tersangkut. Dia mintak Siti bukak machine ATM. Siti x nk. Custmer tu g report kat Customer Affair Dept (CAD). Then org CAD tipon Siti suh bukak machine. Siti x nak ngan reasons la kan.. Org CAD marah Siti, Siti marah dia balik(Siti kata dia ckp lagi kasar-- hehhehe sy percaya sbb Siti x penah tipu sy lg).. Then org CAD tu tipon Big Boss Siti dia kata ada hal nak ckp. Big Boss Siti kata ok. Org CAD tu kata sblm tu dia nak tau Siti ni siapa sebenarnya.. So Big Boss Siti ckp Siti ni Head of........(nama dept dia) and dia tanya apa tadi nak ckp.. Org CAD tu kata xder apa2 la dan terus letak talipon... Iskkk!!!! Amikk kauuu!!! apa ingat dgr suara pompuan jer boleh buli ker? Ko ingat ko besar sgt? (errr siapa sebenarnya yg keje bank ni)

Akhir kata...
Hari ini saya discover 2 org kwn yg sangat baik.. namanya Zana n Kamal Hadi. Sebenarnya mmg dah 5 thn satu tpt keje ... tp 2day felt like.... x perla kalau saya x kaya pun ngan buat tuition. The fact that knowing u r with me tru thick n thin, makes me appreciate the value of our frienships more. Could never thank u nuff guys... I love u ....