Monday, July 17, 2006

Schizophrenic mind

How to start eh....

In my uni year I did a lot of research in schizophrenia. Partly because at one time I wanted to do presentation on this topic ( tapi x jadi coz at the last minute I decided to talk on other topic) and mainly because my ex-roommates were schizoprenic. Yes, two of them.

Kakak was my roomate in my 1st year. There were three of us in one room. As, Kakak and me. Kakak is the youngest but she insisted we call her kakak, we did. She was a jolly gud fren, but we had comments from others that she kind of like `talking to herself'. As and me found it funny where others said its weird.

She likes attention from us and we kind of pampered her. In our second year we went or separated way. As stayed in Desa (hostel), Kakak moved in with some of her coursemates and me with my new friends. But we still keep in touch. Having breakfast and lunch once in a while or maybe a brief discussion in Masjid is a must.

That was when I got phone calls from Kakak's new housemates, ngadu about her. In the beginning its hard for me to believe. Until one day I got a phone call from As asking me to `advise' Kakak because she did funny thing, like skipped classes and squatting in As' room and don't want to bath.


Masalahnya when I came she kind of ok, buat lawak mcm biasa, that is why we tot she was just berlakon. But she's not.. She was admitted kat Rumah Sakit Jiwa in Jalan Perak, Penang lepas satu incident.

Waktu melawat dia kat situ, adusss.. x tau la apa perasaan, seram pun ada coz x penah terfikir akan g tempat gitu. Sedih sungguh, x sangka, entahla... I wished I could be a better fren...

Kakak cuti satu semester and when she came back, she called me up. I was excited tapi x lama lepas tu Kakak start buat perangai balik.

At that time rasa betul2 macam dlm wayang. I literally jumped when the telephone rang. Almost everynite ada je yang call kasi tau kakak merayau-rayau ke hapa. She was infamous with her habit. Even tengah malam pun I will ride to campus cari dia and pujuk dia balik bilik. My housemates pun dah tau sangat. Even though our rule was to lock the door at 12.00 a.m tapi if I was late, somebody will wait for me. Nasib baikla..

I m not a budak skima, at times ada gak rasa nak sekeh kepala Kakak tapi bila kenangkan kebaikan dia rasa x sampai hati. tapi ye la... mulut tu membebel jugak..

The last time I met her was when she came to my house waktu azan maghrib. She wanted to borrow some money sebab nak balik kampung. I was curious coz for someone yang nak balik kg, she brought nothing.

After maghrib I took her to the bus station, bought ticket for her and waited until bas jalan.. bapakla lama.. and nak jaga dia pun satu hal... I was glad when she waved gudbye from the moving bus. tot I can sleep well but I was wrong... satu mlm dok pk... selamat ke dia? ada ke orang amek kesempatan? ingat ke dia alamat umah her sister? aduss...

the next morning, pagi2 I went to HEP and talked to the staff, tapi the officer in charge of her case tu x der. Dengan kepala yang x berapa normal (due to lack of sleep and worry) I asked Zahizan for her opinion. She suggested we went to Kakak's Desasiswa and talked to the Desa admin. We did and the staff called her sis house only to be answered by Kakak's herself. She was safe and sound.

That was the last time I heard from kakak. I do not know sapa amek barang dia nor did I know dia grad ke x lepas tu. She just vanished.

My second roommate was an outsider. Nama pun dah lupa. On my third year kot.. Entah napa makcik tuan rumah tu amek outsider masuk umah tu sedangkan before this smer students jer.

She was in her late twenties I guess, rather gud looking. Makcik placed her in our room (Mid, eli, and me). On her first nite dah rasa pelik dah.. tengah2 malam dia ngamuk. Start cakap yang kotor2 , depa la cakap because I was tido mati.. . hehheheh

The next morning dia marah2. pelik tu coz dia x marah pada kitaorg pun rather to someone yang kitaorg x nampak.. mau x takut... since dah ada experience sblm ni.. we called makcik and ckp we don want her in the house..

Makcik was furious la in the beginning and cakap kitaorg mengadakan citer... tapi she did asked her to move out atas desakan kitaorg...

Sedih jugak masa tu, coz she just coming home from work, baru jer beli jam loceng sebab dia kata senang nak bangun pagi.. and tetiba dah kena suruh keluar.. Tapi kitaorang tau dia pindah kat mana coz until besoknya dia x offkan bunyi jam loceng tu. Kitaorg pun tau jugak dia cuma dpt duk kat umah baru tu semalam jer sebab tuan rumah tu pun suh dia keluar. Kesian...

So that's it. both of them looked normal at the outside. one is bright and cheerful, the other is pretty and has kids.. Till now I do not know punca masalah depa nih. From my reading schizophrenia is the no.2 disease in Malaysia. Wic means ada ramai yang menghidapinya. Unlike sakit2 lain ramai keluarga pesakit enggan mengaku ahli keluarga mereka menghidap schizophrenia..Mungkin kerana malu kot.

Alaaa... lupa lak statistik tu... nantila masukkan .. tapi tu la... Schizoprenia is a disease yang harus dirawati spt penyakit lain. Merahsiakan penyakit ni hanya akan memudaratkan pesakit. Dalam kes kakak tu rasanya mungkin kami dapat membantu kalau tau status dia dari awal..

Thn ni sejarah berulang..
there is a boy yang pelik. For 6 months I misunderstood him as stubborn and plain idle. Sangat menaikkan darah, adala 2, 3 I punished him. Last week he did a terrible thing, pull out window's pane and start walking along the corridor. At that time all students were gathering at school's hall...

Luckily the teacher in charge was on round and saw him. He consoled this boy, brought him to surau, and asked him to lie down. He was cooled off then.

Upon learnt this incident I felt guilty being hard on him all this while. Now dia buat apa pun I tried not to scold him. It was hard, bohongla kalau kata x geram langsung. tapi I dont want him to end up like Kakak..

I make mistake once, cukupla sekali tu jer...

9 comments:

zino said...

andak
pakngah masih blurr apa penyakit Schizoprenia ni?

Kengkawan said...

sakit mental la pakngah.. antara simptom nyer cakap sorang2, ego yang sangat2 tinggi, berdelusi n halusinasi.

lebih kurang gitu la...

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