Bila tiada

"hari2 membebel", a kid commented and a few besides her anonymously said "a'a"

"hah.. what?" seriously i couldnt believe my ears..

"smlm lagi lama dia membebel ce*" d kids continued. i glanced at d membebel-person, hoping that she would stop. she did! either because of me r maybe she's tired. i dunno..

This term i have a new resolution.

It all begins when on the last day of last term, a girl came to see me and asked for a key to a certain room..

"yang u salah kaunterla... tanya la kunci koop ke, kunci library ke, ni kunci bilik tu mana nak ada" saya jawab sambil ketawa2 tapi muka tetap x angkat dr kertas periksa. was marking exam papers at that time.

"kat sapa ye ce?" dia tanya ngan muka x bersalah..

saya ketawa lagi when she told me she left her books in that room. this girl is really forgetful and knowing her for 3 years memang gitula peelnya.. kalau x tertinggal misti terlupa, kot x terlupa misplaced... saya ketawa lagi...

after some time she came back to see me. i was still deep in marking. kang lambat siap org lain marah lak..

"any problem? sorry i cant help u 2day, nak marking cepat ni yang" i stopped for a while when she approached.

"nak salam je" katanya serba salah..

"ook.. jgn tinggal barang lagi yer.." sy kasi nesihat sambil ketawa2. dia pun sama.

When i heard d news she met an accident 3 days later. still laugh, afterall she hit the poles. seluas2 jalan tu, tiang jugak yg dilanggar kenapa?

i stopped laughing when anis, yat, mila visited her at ICU she was unconscious. seeing her, we cried. nothing else we could do except praying for her speedy recovery.

besides lan, her bro updated me on her condition on daily basis. with d other kids, we prayed very hard.

but then... Allah knows best. She was "invited" and cremated in the next morning.

again, we accompanied her for her last journey... seeing the Creator eternally.

Couldnt take any pics except 2 above. the said poles and d gloomy dress.

Until now, i wished i could leave d exam papers and helped her finding d books on d last day we met. I wished i could tell her how much i love her ( i am) instead of ketawa2. maybe i've hurt her feelings. maybe she felt i never care.. or maybe...

i dunno..

i hope none of my students will remember me as .... i dunno yang baik2 saja sudahla...

i strive to be one.

honestly, i juz bring myself to blog about d demise of one of my fav students before... rasa mcm x ble nak kering airmata bila ingat dia..

somehow cekgu yg membebel tu reminds me of her... dunno why..