End of the road.

'aku risau dia nak pi mana lepas ni.. dia kata nak hilangkan diri biar siapa pun x dpt cari dia" Mr A, a (trusted) friend began his piece of bad news.

i put down my cap-ayam-lappie, tried to stop my heart from beating. it was very extremely grievance. i dunno.. i know that particular friend wasnt happy at home, he never told me anything, and i never asked but it is an open secret among the 3 of us.

the news bearer is our mutual trusted friend. his confidante.

i dunno when was i started terlibat-dalam-ini-pilem. we were good ol' frens who respected each other privacy. but still, over the years we maintained our friendships. eternally. we never talked about our personal life, that an unspoken rule, except now.

"x kanlah seumur hidup dia nak rasa insecured mcm tu?" i was referring to our friend's second wife who forbid him from seeing his 1st.

"tak tau la.. tapi nampaknya dia lbh sayangkan yg di sana" said my friend, and i believe him.

its very unfair for me to pass judgement without knowing both his wives. afterall he is a gud friend of mine, so i cant say its his fault too.. biased la plak..

but then, kalau dah sesuatu tu x dapat diselamatkan, kalau seumur idup asyik susah hati je, kalau hati dah x dapat dipujuk lagi, is it worth it to stay?

i asked this question to the news bearer, he looked at me blankly. thanx god he is happily married so might be the question wont make sense to him.

i texted the miserable friend, "nak g mana2 pun kasi taula.. jgn susahkan hati kawan2" i mean it.

i dun understand why when having marital problems ppl suka larikan diri dari kawan2. pernah x diorang terpikir perasaan kawan-kawan yg risaukan diorang, entah sihat ke, entah selamat ke, entah bersedih ke. makan ke tidak, ok ke tidak. Pernah x diorang terpikir yang kawan-kawan ni x der masa nak jadi judgmental. Takder masa nak kasi nesihat ke, ceramah ke apa... Everything happen for a reason.

kalau dah berusaha sehabis baik, tapi masih x berjaya, apalah daya kita sbg manusia biasa nak menolak qada dan qadar.