Monday, September 30, 2013

of journey of faith

Saya cuba menulis tanpa emosi..
 perghhh what an intro la kan..
As I  always write, even though perangai saya buruk tapi dari umur 8 thn saya memang nak pergi ke Mekah.
That was after I watched wayang pacak kat padang tu yang cakap, "hanya dua rengget"..
Sangat berjaya dokumentari tabung haji tu.

After my short trip to Mecca somewhere long time ago, saya terus registered untuk pergi haji. Rupanya nak pergi menunaikan haji kena register lain, saya x tak tau pun... ingat kot duit dah cukup automatically dia panggil. mana nak tau hikhikhik..

Uda dah register sblm tu lagi, n dis year sampailah both our turn.
In between uda dah pergi menunaikan umrah 3 times, first we went together, 2nd with my mom n d last one with an old friend who juz recover from critical illness.
Saya pergi sekali tu je la pun, because unlike her, I dont have much money to splurge lepas gigih membayar hutang keliling pinggang.

But still, when d offer letter arrived in January, saya ikat perut for few months nak mencukupkan duit. When people ketawakan my car yang memang layak masuk muzium tu, saya pun ketawa sekali.
Goshhh they juz dunno  how much I want this.

Knowing d new Saudi regulation, gigih saya x g break pada  satu hari hahad, tulis soklan atas kertas n selitkan kat laptop penceramah masa org x der...
"adakah undang2 baru saudi yang mewajibkan wanita berusia  bawah 45thn ditemani mahram terpakai pada musim haji kali  ini?".
Saya hafal soklan saya because I took considerable time mengarang soklan supaya precise. n saya juga hafal jawapan orang Tabung Haji itu - setakat ini cuma untuk umrah saja, haji macam biasa.

n I spent summore my hard-earned money for d trip.
n time jugak..
brave d ardourous task during Kursus Perdana itu juga.
only to be told later (it was on August 30th when I read d letter) that, suddenly d Saudi new regulation applied for hajj too...

Uda n i were dumbstruck.
she was worried that it might jeopardize her chance too.

In d beginning saya nak hangin jugak.. until when d explanation letter came. they have work hard, its all that matter... kalau dia cakap, "yakinla ini semua dugaan dari Allah" mau saya bakar je PR Tabung Haji tu... when u hv put lots of effort, its not ur fault pun...
now I can say dengan hati yg suci murni...
"its me, who is not good enough to be DuyufurRahman"..

Well, in 2006.
bila saya decided to go to Mecca in June, I finished up all my savings to pay for d trip expenses. Since a year before sepatutnya saya pindah, tp x jadi, so masa tu saya dah few months x der gaji pun. I was literally broke. Bila jemaah lain shopping macam2 (they even bought gold okehhh) saya juz pejam mata je.
That d turning point of my life,

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