Tuesday, January 19, 2016

14/2016

I missed talking to my brothers so much. Dan sharing cerita2 lucu.
On Thursday maybe we will spend some quality time together, despite hari2 saya lunch kat umah gitewww.

I found it so hard dealing with 17 n 13.
Ngan 17, we hv to b friends, an elder sister maybe. Tapi dgn 13, kena tunjuk mokcik2 n sometimes pitching pun harus tinggi..

It is so hard since d other fren mudah sentap kalau org cakap suara tinggi pada dia. ( yg kita sentap tu dia x kira..)

Baideway, I spent quite a considerable time with Abg Bro, Old Fren n the other friend lately. Senang nak transit.

Hari ni one of d rooms was 🔒.  It created a scene. Someone gave a acid statement on dat, publicly.

Honestly saya setuju je dengan statement tu. In fact, dengan mula x bersalah I went to his room n selamba je diskas (hal lain la) dengan rasa x bersalah.  It is my special way to say dat u hv my vote kekdahnya..

I dunno how others took it. N I dont want to know either.

"bagus jugak diingatkan", kata kawan saya,  pozitibiti okehhh.

A week before, 2,3 orang sound dia sebab bilik x kunci.

" tapi kenapa mereka blame awak pulak?", saya tanya...
"biarlah... Saya x kisah pun..", dia jawab.

Tapi saya sangat kisah.
Saya benci betul lelaki no-balls yang menyusahkan orang n belagak macam dia yg paling Lindungan kaabah. Dah sah2 it is ur fault, own up la kan.

Perempuan memang suka cakap lebih2, jadi saya beritahu abg bro, not fairla kawan tu kena sound padahal d culprit rileks je buat muka sesuci embun pagi.

"Alaaa embun tu pun aku dah sound", kata Abang Bro. Saya rasa mcm melompat bintang, justice had been done katanya..

" Aku cakap ngan Ayubla, harap dia sampaikan", Abg Bro tambah. Cess..

I bet Ayub wont say a word. They r bff.
Best friend forever, would never do no wrong.

Scapegoat akan selamanya jadi scapegoat
Jadi, bila Ayub datang menghampiri,  we changed subject.

Dulu2 saya cakap what crossed my mind. Ended up, dia sentap sampai saya x ble kira dah berapa kali kami bermasam muka dan sudahnya...
I think I was d one yang selalu beralah. Saya takut kalau tengah sentap tu Allah tarik nyawa one of us.
Sedih kot...

. There were times saya rasa tak berbaloi betul d degrading n humiliation yang dicampakkan to me when he is with his bffs, all I want is to shut myself up n x bercakap lagi sampai ke hujung nyawa.,

Cuma...
Entahlah...

I dunno y perenggan panjang di atas tu  buat saya menangis. In fact, whenever I remembered what he n his bffs did to me memang saya akan menangis
It hurts. Deeply.

That is why I always stand up for d scapegoat.
I juz don get it, kenapa orang bole terima dan julang pula si pembuli tegar.

Dan berjemaah pula blame orang tanpa siasat duduk perkara.

Mungkin dia ingat dia akan hidup selamanya. Teket syurga sudah ada dalam genggaman beliau.
Mungkin.

Nite all. Maybe I have to spend time with my bros pronto.because d manipulative men around me are suffocating

👋 .

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