Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Mommy!

Tadi g post office. Two parcels later, I was on my way to #18.

Suara orang mengaji sungguh kuat,  daripada mini radio yang baru dibeli sebulan lalu. Saya kasi salam, mak saya buat tak tau je..

"Mak nak orang gorengkan samosa ni tak?", saya tanya kat tepi telinga mak saya. Dia terkejut... "
"Orang bagi salam nak tak jawab" saya komplen hahaha..

"mak tak dengar Tadi", mak saya kata sambil tutup radio tu. Dia kata dia kenyang sebab baru balik dari outing dengan Uda. Nasi kat dapur pun tak ada siapa yang makan,  dia komplen.

Jadi sebagai tanda kasih sayang,  saya makan nasi lauk ikan goreng dan sambal mangga serta sayur labu manis rebus.
Sambil tu kami berbual.
Dari satu perkara ke satu perkara.
 Dari pukul 5 hinggalah 6.15petang.

Then, we went out to buy some biscuits. On the way, sembang lagi.
We bid goodbye at 6.45p.m.  Saya harus pulang sebab ada banyakkkkkk lagi kerja yang tak siap.
Esok pula ada appointment, yang tu pun tak siap juga.

Kerjaya mokcik memang seteresss, but my mom is my pillar of strength.  Always.

Sekian.

"

Pushing the limits

I wish I could do that. I mean, I used to do that, but the task I am handling at the moment require a peaceful state of my mind. So, Whenever I had my limit, I would stop. Or else I wont do justice to those who are matter. Whatever dat means.

I slept at 2 a.m. Woke up at 7. after Subuh prayer I hit on my task.
At 10a.m I couldnt take it anymore.

I stopped.
Took out 3 packets popia skin dan buat samosa. Dah lama saya tak buat kuih. Ermmm..
Sambil tengok Barbie's movie.

At 11, I had brekkie. Then sambung kerja.
I stopped at 12.30noon.
Checked messages n replied.  ThIs is part of my Ketua Derjah task too.

Tetiba dengar azan Zohor..
Alamakkkk...
I am supposed to send few parcels today.

But then, out of 4, baru satu saja parcelyang clear.
Ermmm.
Maybe I really need to push my limits.

Whatever dat means
😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨


Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Kenang-kenangan

Mungkin satu hari saya akan menoleh mengenang perjalanan kerjaya saya, jadi I wrote it here,  untuk kenangan kalau umur panjang.

1. saham saya naik mendadak bila orang tahu somebody femessss masuk team saya, n I m d team leader.  Yang derang tak tau, saya x tidur malam sebab takut...

2. Saya dan somebody femessss itu pernah berselisih pendapat sewaktu saya menjadi Ketua Derjah dalam program lain 2 tahun dulu. Tapi cerita habis di situ. Bila dia jadi Ketua Derjah dalam program lain, I was her staunch supporter. Jadi untuk program kali ini we have mutual understanding katanya πŸ˜‚

3. Manusia ada macam2. Nak hidup lama dalam keadaan tenang dan aman,  jangan layan gossip. Let them talk, kalau boleh bagi hint u r not interested. Sooner or later, ppl will know ur stand.

4. Value good friends. The rest,  Just keep ur distance.

5. Always stick to budget hahhahahha

6. Family first. Just because u have dateline to meet,  takkanlah nak g groceries dengan ur mom pun tak boleh.

7. Health is wealth. Kau jatuh tergolek pun kerja kena siap on time.

8. Be tactful. But then, always be wise in dealing with people. Dont let d charm fools you.

9. It is good to maintain cordial Relationships with everyone. Sooner r later kita akan berjumpa juga, jadi jangan nak macam2.

10. Being a leader is like being a Lady. If u hv to tell everyone u are one,  then u r not, kata magret tecer. So, I tried not too be hard on people.

Chillex saja lahπŸ˜‚


Monday, November 28, 2016

Tahan sungguh awak dengan pompuan macam ni...

Tadi seseorang menegur saya dengan ceria. Terus kami berpelukan.
" Akak ok?, " saya tanya..
"Ok..." dia kata..

Kami jarang berjumpa. Bila dia mengambil keputusan nak memencilkan diri few years back,  lagilah saya jarang nampak mukanya. Maybe fasa sedih dalam hidupnya sudah berlalu kot... Entahlah..

Kakak ni baik betul. Sabar sangat.
Kalau perempuan lain di tempat beliau, jangan kata suaminya yang hanjjjj ( bahasa budak sekarang), hakim mahkamah syariah pun hendak disaman... Hhahahahahahahahaha

"Do u know we kenot sue Syariie Court Judge?", asked someone few years back. Gila.. Mana saya tau..

Jadi dat particular someone cerita la pasal kawan wanitanya yang berazam nak saman Hakim tu hahhahahha..

Ceritanya begini.
Wanita itu yang kita namakan Lisa la ye,  failkan penceraian. Then, ada hearing. Untuk rekod saya x tau prosedur,  mungkin term yang saya gunakan salah, tapi fakta cerita ni tepat,  sumber pun sahih juga hhahahha..

Lisa emosional,  dia cakap suaminya x bertanggungjawab,  macam2lah keburukannya.. Tak berhenti2 Lisa cakap, tapi suaminya berkeras tak mau ceraikan sebab masih sayang katanya...

Hakim geleng kepala.
"Awak ni sabar ye. Tahan awak tinggal dengan perempuan macam ini?", hakim tanya pada suami. Si suami pun played Victim la... Lisa lagi naik hangin dan buka lagi banyak aib suami sambil tegaskan dia tak dapat sabar lagi, dia nekad nak bercerai.

"Awak ni dahla GEMUK,  anak pun ramai,  ada ke orang nak lagi dengan awak. Dengan mulut awak yang macam tu, siapa yang tahan?", hakim tu bashed Lisa.
Mungkin ayat tu lari sikit, tapi GEMUK tu memang ada..

"Gemuk sangatkah Lisa tu?", saya tanya si pembawa cerita. Bab gumuk mokcik pun bagai dicubit paha kanan, paha kiri terasa jua kekdahnya...

"Tak lah gemuk. Dengarlah sampai habis dulu", kata beliau dan sambung cerita.

Wehhh, upon hearing that, Lisa terus cakap dengan anak2 pun suaminya dah lama x bagi nafkah dan tak balik jumpa anak.

"Ini kes cerai,  bab nafkah anak jangan masuk sekali ye. Kita buat ikut prosedur, jangan babitkan hal lain.", marah hakim. Sambil ulang lagi   tanya macamana suami tu boleh tahan dengan Lisa yang mulut jahat dan suka membebel, main petik je...

"Tuan hakim!.."  Lisa tak puas hati dan cakap pasal anaknya yang terabai.

"Betulke?" tuan hakim tanya suami tu. Si suami dengan sabar cakap, mana ada dia buat camtu, dia ada je balik n jumpa anak2..

Lisa pun naik angin. Dan cakap macam2..
Hakim pun marah Lisa lagi, dia panggil anak tu masuk dalam kamar dan tanya.

Suami ulang lagi kata dia ada jumpa anak n bagi nafkah segala..
"BILA?" anak dia naik angin pulak dah...

Mendapatla budak tu kena marah dengan hakim sebab biadab. Terus hakim tu petik Lisa tak reti jaga anak,  sampai biadab begitu sekali. Jadi dia HALAU budak tu keluar, or else dia panggil guard.
Perghhh...

"Isteri kamu macam ni,  anak kamu pun macam tu, kamu masih boleh sabar lagi ke?", tanya hakim kepada suami tu.

"Ermmm... Saya pilih menceraikan isteri saya la tuan hakim", kata suami itu akhirnya.

Tuan hakim pun senyum lebar. "alhamdulillah..." dan terus uruskan proses penceraian.

Later, barulah tuan hakim tu beritahu dia sengaja provoke supaya suami tu lafazkan cerai. Ada banyak kes pending sebab suami berkeras tak mahu jatuhkan talak padahal perangai suami memang sangat tak mencapai level suami pun.

Tapi hati Lisa masih tergurisss dengan hakim tu dan satu hari dia nak saman hakim tu sebab kata dia macam2.
Hahahahahhahahahah..

I Wonder, adakah kakak yang saya jumpa hari ini akan jadi macam Lisa.
Saya fikir ye, satu hari nanti bila dia sudah puas bersabar.
Cuma saya harap, Allah akan hantar lelaki yang baik untuk Lisa dan kakak tu.
Semoga hidup mereka akan lebih gembira dan aman, di dunia dan di akhirat


Sekian.


Saturday, November 26, 2016

Semoga tabah katanya...

If anything, saya tak nangis depan orang,  unless saya lapar.

Saya nangis bila tak dapat pergi Haji. Bila orang sebut, automatically air mata macam air terjun. Dulu lah. Sekarang saya dah sedar diri hahhaa.

Lain2 hal, saya menangis kat bucu katil sajalah..

Tapi bila dapat hadir n nota ni on my messy table this morning.

Mesej hari jadi

Today is TheOtherFriend's birthday.  Saya ingat sebab sebulan sebelum ialah hari jadi Jie, dan sebulan selepas itu hari jadi Kak Ma. Same date.

Normally I sent him birthday wishes.
Bukan normal ke?
Kawan kottt...

Given d circumstences ( salah spelling ni), tak berani saya dah.
Anyway judging from his attitude towards me yang berubah 360' I think it will b d last time I wish.

Selamat Hari Lahir AP.
Semoga tercapai segala hajat di dunia.
K. Bye.

Friday, November 25, 2016

Orang hebat sudah balik!

Everytime I came back to d workplace,  saya pergi ke whiteboard dan padamkan nama saya dan d notes about my absent.

" Orang hebat sudah balik," said one of d bosses. Mokcik dengar dengan muka tak ada perasaan.
"Kita x tahu isi borang tu.. Tapi kita akan hantar juga", saya terus beritahu.  Dia pun ajar. Hebat sangat!!

Then another someone petik juga pasal borang tu yang tak dihantar lagi. Markah dia dah submit pun, dia kata.
"Habislah tak dapat apc sebab tak hantar borang", saya bisik pada Yong, sambil tersengih2..
" Ooooo Ada hati rupanya?", Yong tanya sambil ketawa tak hengat.
Hebat sangat!!

"Nak duitkan?, nanti datang ambik" said someone which I described as rudeness overload.  Again, I smirked. Mendengar tanpa perasaan.
After the first incident, few months ago, saya tidak mahu membuang masa melayani kebiadaban beliau menjalankan tugas. Untunglah mokcik ada S/u, so d S/U had reminded about the payment twice in 2 weeks times.
Pending, dia kata... dan sambung dengan alasan ala2 dia jetset ke seluruh benua. Bizi!
Hebat sangat!!!

"Kak... Sayakan nak mintak borang Xxx pada dia", another someone cakap sambil tunjukkan surat tu.
"Suruh ur superior mintakkan, dont u dare ask urself, nanti lain jadinya" saya nesihattt.
" Tapi.. Saya dah call semalam, dia pun kata dia tau.." He lamented.
"Dah cukuplah tu. If u want it today, ask ur superior to talk to him. Nanti kat belakang dia bawak cerita kata awak macam2. Baru2 ni pun dia petik lagi", saya cakap dengan tegas. Jengkel. It has been going on for years. Dari umur 30-an now dah 40-an. Cahaya kubur belum sampai mungkin.
Hebat sangat!!

"apa lagiiii?" dia tanya muka tak puashati.
" ni nasihat akak kepada adik, kalau nak dengarlah..."  saya cakap pendek. Yang panjang, tak ada masa nak layan. Cerita tak bersambung.
Dia diam. Saya pun diam.
Kitaorang sambung cerita lain, yang lucu.
Kami pun ketawa tak hengat juga.
Hahhahhahahhahahahha..

Juz because ada seorang dua yang bajet Hebattttt,  tak payahla kita pun nak bajet Hebattttt juga...  Chillex sudah hahhah

Hari ini ada orang belanja cendol.
"Dah kemas meja bolehlah minum cendol sekarang" ,  kata Orkid sambil errrr.. Minum.
Mokcik is sentap.  Meja mokcik masih bagai diserang pengganas.

"Wehhhh ni meja sepah, tapi dah minum cendol,  mana ini orang?" saya tanya Zeda sambil point kepada meja Yong. Dengki!
" Kak... Dia yang antara orang yang sponsor cendol tu", Zeda jawab sambil tersengih..

Ok. Yang itu baru Hebattttt πŸ˜‚


Wednesday, November 23, 2016

There shud b two groups next year!

Someone suggested, out of the blue.
Eh?

" chuols dah kenapa?"  I asked,  everyone was... Uishhh.. Garangnya..
"Ok what..." dia sambung.  D three of us giggled. Because we know d story which he dont.

"Jee is going to Australia"  chipped in someone..
"Wehhhh... Kata sakit..." saya tercakap kuat lagi..
Again,  d three of us giggled.  Kita ni beria la kecut perut took over her chair, sebab dia jatuh sakit, ni dia kemain pergi holiday pulak..  Hahhahahha..

Of course kitaorang sent text messages to Jee later. Dia harus tau isi hati kitaorang hahhahahah..

I think dats why I like d team so much.
Lain bangsa, lain agama, lain budaya, boleh duduk semeja,  makan bersama.
No one speaks ill of each other. Bila mengusik, boleh sama2 ketawa.
Kerja berat pun dikongsi bersama.

My immediate boss came today. A Chinese Lady. A nice visit

I made mistakes here n today,  but everyone was such a sport...

It d comradeships.
Ada ke word tu dalam kamus

But then, I couldnt work when so many people talking to me at d same time. Of course I couldnt excuse myself as I have extra tasks at hand.

Tapi Jee could.
Time kitaorang pungpang Pungpang elok je dia bersembang sekali sambil siapkan kerja dia..
Thats y sebarang cadangan for d second term adalah sangat melampaui batas.

Sekian

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Anything that didnt kill me..

Will make stronger.

The first meeting was today. In my humble opinion it went well.
I made sure everything was according to schedule.

Tapi yang betulnya my Mother is my pillar of strength.
Dia yang temankan saya picked up d bundles. She was d ones who reminded me no to forget things.
She was very supportive.
Yesterday,  dia juga yang bising suruh cepat order food from my neighbour.
Ya,  I m d luckiest person on earth.

When I reached d meeting place dis morning, Goshhh... D room was not open yet. Berlari la mokcik ke opis, err to say hi to d boss.  Beliau Xder.
D Lindungan Kaabah was there... But he was in d canteen.
I did have time to wait for anyone as it was already 7.56a.m.

I thanked d Lady in blue,  then noticed,  wayyy dulu kita kawan kot...
Hahhahahhaha
Then, another Lady came n cakap, weeyyyy Budak Keyjo kan?
Dulu kita satu asrama, gila saya x perasan kakak ni
Then on my way back, I talked to another someone.  Dia kata dulu saya selalu tolong dia. It wasnt true though, dia.yg banyak tolong saya.

Dlm emosi yg kelaut,  bila jumpa familiar faces,  terus rasa selamat...
As for Lindungan Kaabah, he could not bite me anymore, like he used to. Sigh...
I did not feel intimidated. Dulu tidak, sekarang pun tidak.

Semoga yang baik akan berterusan.

Monday, November 21, 2016

Aku tak nak

Hari ini saya minta tolong TheOtherFriend print kan sesuatu. Afterall dia memang tengah mengadap laptop kot...

" Aku tak nak", dia kata.
Terus dia petik dia pun tak buat sebab nama tak ada dalam list. 
Saya gigit bibir jangan bagi komen, usah ditambah bara yang tersimpan katanya..

Hahhaha..
Saya ketawa sorang2...
Funny...

Saya teringat dia pernah kata, 
Hidup ini satu cycle,  
Kita lahir diazankan atau iqamat then kita membesar, tua, bila tua perangai kanak2 kita muncul kembali dan akhirnya mati, kita dibisikkan kalimah syahadat sekali lagi, mungkin buat kali yang terakhir.

Sebab tu kita kena jaga sebab bila tua, perangai buruk  kita yang dulu-dulu akan muncul balik, dia pesan. 
Jangan terlalu taksub dengan apapun, nanti masa nak mati benda tu lah yang syaitan gunakan untuk pesongkan kita, dia cakap.

Automatically, tazkirah ni yang muncul dalam kepala...

Ada kena mengena ke tazkirah tu dengan dia tak nak tolong? 
Hahhahahha ada, but few things in life r better left unsaid katanya..

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚



My first swarovski(s)

Someone kata Swarovski tengah 'in'.
Saya tak pernah ambik pusing hal hal 'lagha' macam tu...
Eh?

"Nak tak?" dia tanya..
Gila kau....
Bab bab macam ni makcik sentiasa berlapang hati..
Hahhahahha

Nah gambo.

Sunday, November 20, 2016

Acho

Hari tu saya guna Acho's car.
Bawak d Kids.
Then tingkap stuck. X boleh dinaikkan.
D Kids relax je. Dia tau mokcik takkan marah.πŸ˜‚

Tapi kesudahannya we have to walk sebab I cannot leave d car outside.
Mokcik relaks.  Mokcik tau d Kids takkan marah.

On d way home hujan lebat.  Habislah tempias. We stopped n puΕ₯ d rain coat over d Windows.
Kitaorang relaks je. Dah sama2 bersalah. Nak marah apanya...

Balik rumah mokcik mintak maaf kat Acho sebab rosakkan tingkap keter.  Dia diam je.
Besoknya rain coat masih tak dicabut.
Cuak juga..

A day later tingkap dah dibaiki. Rain coat dah disidai..

"Berapa ye Acho kena bayar baiki tingkap tu," saya tanya adik saya. Takut la jugak..

"Tak payah bayar pun, ganti xxxx ( sorry tak.ingat namanya) tu je. Tak ada apa pun", dia cakap.

Dia tak sebut pun pasal seat basah, pasal air hujan, pasal dah banyak kali dia kena baiki part yang saya rosakkan.

Adik lelaki saya menerima kekurangan kakaknya dengan redha.
Mokcik redhaπŸ˜‚

Bertabahlah hati

Less than 36 hours I will execute d task. Goshhh..

Still I have promised to meet up.my.friends.  Janji pukul 1.30p.m. Saya sampai pukul 1.38p.m n I was d only one there.. nana came next,  followed by Acik. Ziela n Awie came almost 3 P.m I guess. Hahhahahha
No one complained actually.. 

It is always fun seeing familiar faces. I love d laughters n funfilled-stories. It is always good swapping our updates.
Theres a pic remembrance though. 

What I hate most during d meet up is betapa gigihnya people to outdo other. 
A real turn off ok..
They were still humble, juz like d old days. Which was a relief. The truth is, saya tak kenapa orang nak show off..
Like telling her next holiday destination padahal baik Air Asia je kot...
Or telling about d lavish food they eat, padahal x sampai pun RM50 per pax.
or telling about their latest handbag, which Errr Coach je kot...
Or sharing about shopping a new gadget which will b a relic in 2 years time...
Or boasting about what a wonderful Kids they have... Hahhahahha..
Oh come on... 

Again, I m glad none of them did that.
Or else, saya tak mahu terlibat lagi hahhahaha..
But, I dont think I could afford d luxury of meet up in d near future.  

It was 4p.m when I left d restaurant. Thanks God, Nik n Abang Dos were willing to come over n take Anjang's New Baju Kurung. 

I had a chat with Nik for a while, sambil memunggah things. I could talk for days to my sisters tanpa jemu katanya. But then I had deadline to meet.

Headed home. Saya penat betul.
There r things which I had to do, but I dont.

Oh great😒

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Mokcik sentiasa sudi sebenarnya πŸ˜‚

Sebulan yang lalu TheOtherFriend tanya kalau saya nak buat program untuk d Kids.

"Tak sudi", saya jawab pendek.
"Xxx yang suruh tanya. Aku pun buat (program) tau.." dia cakap.
So? Saya tanya dalam hati.
Kalau tanya depan2 nanti dia tarik muka,  like he always did hahahaha.

"Nanti ada bajet tau..", seingat saya dia cakap macam tu.

Cessss d year before cakap macam tu juga. Janji pelesu. Satu sen pun x dapat despite saya submit paperwork n resit segala. Tahun2 sebelum pun begitu juga.
So, jangan sebut pasal duit dengan saya lagi. Jangan ditambah bara yang disimpan seperti kata Kak Lina pom pom.πŸ˜‚

Yesterday I got post-exam activities.  I am in charge of a slot with someone.
"Nak buat apa ye. D u hv any idea?", saya tanya dengan harapan dia akan kata, u kan banyak kerja, biar I take over...

"Norizan.. U have so many things to do... Why cant u go n see ur boss to b excused", my immediate superior who happened to be  there too cakap..

"Takper la..." mokcik cakap. Dalam hati berdoa ada keajaiban 😭

That particular someone terus bagi idea what to do. Tapi takder pun maksud kamusnya dia nak take over dan excused mokcik.
Jadi mokcik pun kata let me do it.
"Biar saya jadi pembantu", dia kata sampai tersenyum girang.
Mokcik menangis dalam hati.

I couldnt prepare yesterday Since there r few tasks I have to do before attending d meeting. Besides, d certs should b typed,  n distribute Since I will be away for 5 days.
Luckily a friend n 4 Girls  came n help.

ThIs morning I told dat particular someone we have to split as I could not handle so many Kids at d same time...

 Previously, when I helped her out dia told sundry n all dia bersyukur kepada Allah kerana merahmati hidupnya, dan volunteer nak buatkan kerja orang lain. Rezeki Allah harus dikongsi bersama katanya...
Cuma yang menjengkelkan, dia pun tak reti nak buat kerja tu,  jadi hujung2 dia suruh saya yang buat.
I did.
Masa tu pulak dia dengan manis gula madu cakap, " kesian.. Alaaa kesian...  Biar I stapler kertas ni"
Nampak tak permainannya...
Kalau kesian, dia tak berlagak pandai menyanggupi kerja yang dia x reti pun.

Macam2...

ThIs morning I saw few Kids n asked if they wanted to help me out.
"Sure can", mereka cakap dengan ceria.

So,. I laid out my plan
Mereka mengangguk dan setuju..

" Tapi... Short notice kot.. Buat je lah esok.  Hari ni kami nak siapkan kerja kursus dulu", suggested a girl.
" Wehhh... Besok I takder until Sunday..then I will come back on.Monday. On 22nd I will be away again until next Thursday kott", saya jawab dahi berkerut...
" okkk. Saya nak join, tapi.not today...", she added..
" It's ok..anyway... I need to do it today.. Macamla korang tak biasa dengan my schedule..", cara saya cakap tu Macamlah saya ada bisnes berjuta.  Puiii
Terus hati d Kids cair macam eskrem. Walaupun bizi mereka carikan orang yang boleh tolong saya.

In d end I was able to pool enough manpower. Yippee...


Mokcik dah bijak sekarang. Drama swasta mokcik caras siap2.
"In case u r wondering why we split this year, in 2015 we combined n d result was less to be desired", dan dan.mokcik bagi statement for others to read katanya.

Kalau masih gigih nak berdrama jugak, gasaklah... Mokcik tak sudi nak layan.
Macam juga cerita buat program boleh claim bajet pun. Mokcik tak sudi nak percaya.πŸ˜‚

Ada banyak benda yang mokcik pangkah.
Tapi buat program untuk d Kids,  mokcik sentiasa sudi.

Afterall, I juz told them what I want, berjemaah mereka execute the task.
Wuishhh mokcik duduk tersenyum depan kamera sajalah adanya.


For TheOtherFriend,  please don't ask. Mokcik sentiasa sudi hahahaha



Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Terima Kasih dari hati

Hari tu kestressan mokcik mengatasi keterujaan bila program tamat.
I was very grateful. Extremely grateful.
So I prepared a small token for 32 volunteers+2 co-ordinators n also d guests of honors

A sweets-shape paperweight, for keepsake.
I think they are cute, but they r cheap though.
I found it in one of the warehouse sales. A real bargain!
Nak bagi swaroski, makcik pun xder barang seurat pun heh..

Anyway d kids were so happy. 
So, I m happier too...
Apalah sangat seringgit dua yang mokcik korbankan...

Little did I know someone was happier too.

" Nanti kalau pindah dah tak ada dah program ni.." said someone bila saya beritahu dia saya nak pindah sangat. " Kalau saya kata tak boleh, jangan haraplah..." dia sambung lagi sambil ketawa. 

Saya pun ketawa juga. 
It wont b long before someone will come to him, n telling all sort of stories. 
It wont be long before I get another degrading comment in d appraisal.
Afterall ni dah hujung tahun kot...
Harap2 lelaki itu dan rakan-rakannya tak lupa meneruskan acara tahunan mereka.
Senang sikit kerja mokcik...
Tak ada sebab beliau dan rakan-rakannya harus berhenti. 
Usaha giat maju katanya...

Back to d crystal sweets, it was cheap ones. The way d volunteers appreciated it, macamlah mokcik bagi emas sekilogram...
In life, always focus on d ones who appreciates you.

Jangan kedekut.
Hahhahahhaah







Monday, November 14, 2016

You too? part 2

Oh tuhan, luruh jantung saya bila d security guard informed he was not doing his task. Saya cuba berlagak cool.

 Tapi... I was miserable sampai saya keluar rumah tak bersalam pun dengan mak saya padahal kami berbual sebelum tu. Jangan tanya berbual tentang apa, yang itu pun saya tak boleh nak recall.

Saya tunggu juga kalau sponsors telefon dan komen.  Tak ada. Ok kuranglah malu...

Semoga mereka tak tulis di dalam report mereka pula. Bila hitam putih, susahlah nak tutup muka.

Syukur d Kids semua selamat.
Syukurlah kawan2 saya yang lain sangat supportive.
Di depan mereka saya berlagak cool juga. Letih...

"Look forward to work together next year", sponsors cakap.

Mokcik tersenyum sinis jah. While working closely with d sponsors is enriching experience which I treasured so much,  I wont think I would be that Lucky next year.

I will have to report to someone that he did not perform his task. When kids' safety is jeopardized harus lah mokcik bersuara kata ko, Since mokcik orang nombor satu dalam ini filem. Kalau mokcik orang no 18, tidaklah mokcik mahu menjaga tepi kain orang.

I speak from experience.
Once he knows I reported d incident, berjemaahlah gengnya akan memulaukan saya nanti. Lepas tu mereka jumpa boss, maka mendapatlah saya appraisal yang cikai buat kesekian kalinya.

They did that before. Mereka yang tak tahu hujung pangkal, terus jump d bandwagon.
I can safely say mereka akan buat lagi.

Cuma I am thinking,  kat siapa saya harus report supaya kes ini tak berulang lagi.
Last time I wrote a report together with d Kids recount of the awful incident to my superior.

Tak cukup dengan lousy comment dalam appraisal, mokcik pulak kena tengking dalam miting n other superior suruh bersihkan hati,  jangan ada dendam katanya. All done in the meeting. Padahal mokcik was orang No 1 Kawasan kottt...
Tak beragak betul tazkirahnya pun...

Nope. Lepas nangis sebulan dua, mokcik tenang saja menerima takdir katanya hhahahhaha. Tapi hal ini akan.terus mokcik kenang selagi hayat dikandung badan hahhahahhahah

Terus mokcik gigih isi borang n was appointed  as Ketua Kak Long Kawasan lagi. Orang no 1 okkk... Apparently orang yang lantik mokcik tu x baca komen kat appraisal hahhahaha.
Things got better, jadi tak sia2lah mokcik ditengking, ditazkirah depan public dan dipulau selama ni. Aminnn..

ThIs time around, mokcik tengah fikir kat siapa mokcik harus lontarkan aduan so that it wont happen next time.

To superiors memang tidak mungkin. Tak kuasa nak baca komen degrading lagi. Hahhahahha
To d sponsors,  no wayyy dah elok dia nak sponsor karang tak.jadi pulak..
Siapa?

Mungkin hanya kepada Dia yang maha mendengar, maha melihat, maha mengetahui dan pemilik semua hati.
Semoga Dia berikan petunjuk dan Hidayah jangan sampai saya menganiaya orang pula..

Semoga Dia kurniakan kesabaran dan harta yang melimpah untuk saya sebulan dua ni. Sesungguhnya,  kesabaran yang saya wayangkan selama ini sudah sampai kepenghujungnya. mungkin kalau ada harta yang melimpah ruah, bolehlah saya pergi shopping untuk mengubat hati yang patah..

Jom shopping ( tetiba!)


Mungkin rindu

A friend masukkan saya dalam whatsapps group for marathon. To share d upcoming events and tips katanya...

5 of them were my schoolmates. Whenever there is any events they will ask me to join. I wish.

In d beginning saya fikir saya dah free bila masuk bulan 11. Mana nak tau saya dilantik jadi Ketua Darjah pula. Saya rasa sangat bersalah.

Hari tu selepas register satu event, saya terus download workout segala. Nak.training la kononnya... Once jadi Ketua Darjah, saya fikir masa free saya hanyalah sewaktu tidur. Saya tak fikir mereka faham.

 Kerja babysitter je kot... Apa yang bizinya...
Saya malu juga bila tak pernah boleh meluangkan masa training bersama.

Last Weekend mereka pulang ke Perak untuk satu event. By right I should go n cheered them.
Tapi mokcik pula ada event di Kelumpo.
Mokcik balaci, nak tak nak kena pergi jugak.

Untuk menjaga air muka sendiri, I told them my schedule.  Tak ada niat lain selain daripada nak kasi tau, I never lie about my tight schedule.  Sejak dari bangku sekolah mokcik memang setelus air di dalam gelas kata ko, tak pernah udang menyorok di sebalik Mee, begitulah figuratively speaking ye..

Mereka kata ok.
Mereka did not judge
At least dalam group tu mereka tak cakap apalah...

Last week they were discussing about their weekend event. Out of nowhere I told them I will b in KL from 16-20th, so I could not join them.

Jomla jumpa. One of them suggested.
" D meeting will end by lunch on Sunday", saya beritahu.

Surprisingly mereka tak tanya pun ada ke meeting on Sunday.
Mereka tak tanya pun meeting apa n all that.
Of course I could not answer to those questions as I have sworn in secrecy.
Guess dat is why we r friends for 30 years.
Trust is a virtue.
They know me well n believe in me.

I never change. I m still d same person they woke up in the morning with 30 years ago.
Katanya...

"I can go to Shah Alam for a meet up" saya cakap. Jujur. A meet up with old friends will b good after 5-days doing those crazy tasks. I need Just that you know...

Tetiba someone added me in a New whatsapps group.
Whatttttt? A New group? asked someone..
"This one is temporary, will be deleted after 20th of November", said the admin...

They were discussing for a meet up. Hmmmm... Some were reluctant as they have family commitments.

Tulis je la siapa yang boleh datang,  suggested someone.

There were 5 names before me. I was no 6.
They were like... Whooops is that you?

Like...  who else?
Little did I know kehadiran mokcik memang sangat diharapkan. Rindu katanya... Yang awal2 kata tak.mau datang pun beri respons positif.

Awkward mokcik tau..
What if when they see me,  I am not d ones they used to know.
I mean,  I am still d same inside wrapped in a bigger packet hahhahahhahaha...

Oh well...




Thursday, November 10, 2016

You too?

Hehhehehehhe..
I dunno how to start.  I wish it will end soon.
Sebab mokcik dah hilang energy dengan drama beliau. Hari2 saya berdoa Allah bantu saya jauh dari insan sepertinya.

It started when in d meeting someone said HE might not free to do his task. Untuk rekod, HE used to mengelat. Tapi hujung2 sembang kencang macam tu semua dia yang punya effort.

 Bila orang tegur sikap dia yang suka curi tulang,  dia sentap. Then,   dia buat cerita sana sini, dan cakap, "aku tak suka nak gaduh-gaduh, biarlah orang nak buat apa kat aku pun,  aku tak kisah".

Ramai pulak tu yang tukang beli cerita sedihnya tanpa siasat duduk perkara. Lepas tu main terjah je buat kesimpulan,  dia tu tak nak berkerjasama. Terus ngadu kat boss tu yang tak menahan....sedehhh..
Worry not. I wont retaliate.

It juz dat, dis time around, saya nak jaga integriti diri sendiri je. If he wont do, it will tarnish d organisation image, d grant will stop, d Kids will be denied their chance.

Saya pm big boss,  asking him to enter d meeting room. So d sponsor yang beritahu consequences to d boss. It was loud n clear.

I even asked d boss to talk to him personally. D boss was quite reluctant.
" cakap je lah.." He said.

I m so used to people yang ingat bila saya minta saya cakapkan sesuatu,  mereka fikir saya bermasam muka dengan orang itu.
Mungkin mereka fikir mereka berada di tadika barangkali.

Bercakap dan mengarah adalah dua perkara berbeza.  Kalau orang tu memang takder sejarah suka curi tulang, saya dengan senyum manis akan bercakap sendiri. Once bitten twice shy kekdahnya...

Saya tak tau how it would come out.
I wish for the best. It is for d Kids.
Kalau fikir diri sendiri,  memang tak sudi saya nak memikul biawak hidup.

So I prepared few things for d project. Besides, there r few things yang nak dibuat.

Fid tengah high preg, jadi yang sihat walafiat la yang kena buat kerja lebih a.k.a moi.

It Just that I have appointment to see Mr G before noon. Jadi saya tanya Fid kalau dia boleh mulakan sikit, dan saya akan sambung hari Isnin nanti.

I went to d boss room with stack of certs to be endorsed. He was not there, n I couldn't find sealer too. Duh!

" Nurul,  will u help me out?", sudahnya saya minta tolong seseorang. Takkanlah saya nak suruh orang yang sedang menunggu hari pulak. Nurul promised to help n 2 hours later she inform, SETTLED.

Barulah hati mokcik tenang.

We had high tea. I came late, Since d meeting with Mr G resulted in extra documents to check n verified.

Later I sat next to Fid. Niat asal nak minta semula laptop n printed sahaja.

"ehhh.. Saya dah beritahu dia suruh buat prepare his own documents.  I even told him, kalau tak tau he can ask you", Fid giggled.

Waddehelliverry.? Saya pun tak pernah seumur hidup buat dokumen tu...
Now it tells, y twice he appeared to be bumped into me. Wayanggg..

"Asyik mengelat je..." my friend added.
Mokcik terkebil2. I do not remember discuss trivial things to Fid. Bertahun2 mokcik menangis dalam hati je kot...

But then..
Entah.
Dari pengalaman, HE will tell all b sundry betapa teraniaya dirinya itu, dan yang mendengar tu pun terus bawak cerita pada boss. Nanti boss tulis dalam appraisal, tak mahu berkerjasama.
To be frank,  saya tak peduli pun pasal appraisal tu.  Thats y saya tak pernah retaliate by going to d bosses n cakap hal yang sebenar.
Tak perlu. Tak ada apa pun yang nak saya kejar dalam hidup ni.

Saya akan bersuara  if it concerned d Kids. Other than that, go ahead Labu, pergilah bawak cerita orang tak nak berkerjasama pun..
Buatlah sesuka hati... I never give a Damn.

Semoga saya tak menganiaya sesiapa dalam hidup saya.



Teacher, soklan yang Teacher cakap tu tak masuk pun

Serius hati mokcik flowery 🌼 chuols...  sepanjang saya mengajar dia, saya fikir dia x sudi pun dengar dan ikut..
Rupanya dia dengar ye...😍😍😍

Soklan yang mana? Mokcik tanya sambil senyum sampai ke telinga. I am on 7th heaven katanya..

"Soalan yang Ai wud like tu cus tu la.." dia kata...
" Habis tu  PuΕ₯ jawab soalan mana?" saya tanya... Kot2 la sebenarnya dia salah paper... Hahaha
"Dah tak ada... Saya tak jawablah...", dia jawab setenang air di kolam ikan.

Untuk rekod   saya ajar MINIMUM ADEQUATE SYLLABUS je pada dia. Bukan sebab dia tak pandai,  tapi sebab dia tak berapa sudi.  Soalan yang dia cakap tu sejak azali memang format, mestilah ada.
Nak marah2 pun, paper tu dah siap bungkus n dah dalam perjalanan ke pemeriksa kot..
 Haruslah mokcik jangan nak sentap bagai...

"ni PuΕ₯ nak g mana ni?" saya tanya.. Sepatutnya semua calon berkumpul di kantin
" Saya nak ambik nota tertinggal dalam kelas" dia kata
 Jadi saya temankan, walaupun dia menolak keras. Saya tak mahu dia diitahan pengawas. Itu saja.

Kertas tu dah tak ada.. Kelas telah dikemaskan. Puas kami berdua mencari.
Untuk rekod hari ini Kertas Sejarah 3, open book test.
Saya tawarkan nak minta dari guru Sejarah, tapi dia kata tak perlu.

Akhirnya PuΕ₯@Putra ambik nota dari noticeboard.
"cukup tak?", saya tanya..
"cukuppppp", dia jawab

Dalam keadaan biasa saya akan membebel. Tapi ini Major exam.
D Kids dah cukup stress dah.
Jangan ditambah bara yang tersimpan katanya...


Cikgu harus tenang sambil menangis dalam hati😨


Kawan selamanya

Semalam Abang Bro kunci pintu at 11. Saya tanya dia kat mana, jawapannya agak kabur... Saya called TheOldFriend who promised to open d door at 1 P.m.
Tablet saya tertinggal kat dalam kott...

For years TheOldFriend memang consistent being helpful to everyone.  Memang saya salute.

Today Abang Bro came, he never say sorry. I dont think he remember what he did. Semalam he left d engine running for 5 hours before he called Nol to switch it off. I guess fikirannya tak stabil, tapi tidaklah mokcik sudi menjaga tepi lain beliau.
I dont judge
All this while beliau sangat considerate. Baru sekali takkan dah nak sentap kot

Sejak azali I did d year end task for TheOldFriend and TheOtherFriend. Nak tolong dengan harta, mokcik pun papa kedana, jadi tolong dengan tenaga je. With TheOtherFriend current mood, saya fikir panjang juga.

Dia kata dia sakit. Tapi dengan orang lain nampak elok saja..
Dia kata he needs somewhere colder,  trust me d place he frequented is much humid.
Ada lagi dia kata. Mokcik senyum sinis jah

Dengar boleh
Percaya jangan...

Dulu saya luahkan segala fakta yang terlintas di fikiran, sekarang saya fikir di hujung kehidupan nanti ada perkiraan yang lebih adil, jadi tak payahla nak justify sangat di dunia yang fana ini hahhaha.

One thing for sure, I chose to be a good friend to everyone.
Setelah menimbang sedalamnya, saya tanya dia if he needs my help. Kalau dulu walau lagi teruk dia dan kawan2nya kenakan saya, elok je saya tolong, why not now
D recent incident two weeks ago tu was a mere childplay je kot...


So I asked
Dia kata it supposed to be yadayadayada....sebab tadi dia dah tanya yadayada dan masa tu ada yadayada n yadayada jadi dia pun sembang la dengan mereka.

Punyalah banyak yadayada...
yadayada nombor 1 tu kawan baik saya. Semalam masa saya key in data, Xder pun si.Yadayada tu cakap pasal tu.  Sejam sebelum seeing him, I was with Yadayada in d meeting room..Dia tak cakap pun. Saya tak mau speku, tapi something fishy tu bang...

On d second yadayada..  Ermmm
Saya gigit bibir. He sounds like his best friend so much. Why does he have to brag dat dia macam close dengan Mr Yadayada..

Years ago when someone who I thought he close with got married saya mintak duit nak share beli hadiah. Dia x kasi. Dia buat x reti je. Dia tak berkira pun selama ni. So I guess mmg dia tak mahu kasi hadiah la..He dont even go to d wedding. To think dat lelaki itulah yang selalu membantu beliau.
When we were together,  he rarely spoke to him either. So?

As for Mr Yadayada,  I did not know whether he attended his wedding or not, saya pun takder kat Malaysia masa tu.
Tapi saya takkan lupa how he refused to come out from d car despite saya beritahu Mr Yadayada ada.

Saya pujuk banyak kali sebab saya malu dengan Mr Yadayada,  I thought they were close,  judging from banyaknya event yang mereka hadiri bersama sebelum Mr Yadayada berpindah. Afterall I really like Mr Yadayada n whenever we bumped in any events,  I will make it a point to talk n guess what, everytime I invited him to sit with our team he refused.

It went on YEARS...
Suddenly today cerita sudah lain. A New history is re-create ke macam mana kaedahnya?
Tetiba mesra alam eh?

I tried to puΕ₯ on a poker face n play along.
Tapi hati mokcik dah tak bertabah lagi.  If he can do it to others he can do it to everyone.
Mula2 layan orang macam sampah then bertahun lepas tu, bersalin kulit.

Jadi saya ringkaskan cerita, "bottomline do u need my help or not?"  saya tanya, muka seposen.
Saya tak mahu komen pasal yadayada.  Biarlah dia terus dalam dunianya...

"xderla aku dah siap, tapi nak check lagi", dia jawab.

Denkk...
Tu jawapan cliche kawan baiknya.
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Jadi saya bangun dan cakap thanks.
Just because saya sangsi,  I shouldnt be rude.
I might b wrong though.

Jadi saya tulis di sini,  untuk sempadan pada masa depan


Juz because he treated others like dirt,  apa mohtipnya saya pun nak buat macam tu jugak

Chillex sudah...πŸ˜‚


I m officially Ketua Derjah Kecil

Malam semalam another someone contacted me. Saya minta dia sabar, sebab saya pun tak officially appointed kot...
We both laughed merrily.
"Why not give d HQ some times?", saya sagested cenggitu.

Dia kata ok.
Saya tidur tak berapa lena. Saya takut. Saya cemas. Saya ragu2 dan saya penat...
How I wish I have someone to make me laugh di tengah malam yang gelap dan sunyi itu.
Tak ada.
Jadi saya pandang syiling dan errrr...

ThIs morning I key in PAJSK data. Line Internet ala2 marathon 21km... Agak snail pace but constantly moving.
Once finished, Syaril brought up d letter.

Brown envelope A4 size is addressed to Puan Norizan. Saya buka dan Yessss..

It is Grand Continental!!! πŸ˜‚
Once upon a time, saya pergi makan Yee Sang kat situ.
Many2 years ago I used to Park there n jalan kaki ke Sogo ngan Et.

Terus I decided to have a happy stay kat situ.
Saya tengok jadual. Packed. Light off 10.30pm. Tapi saya tak peduli..
Tiap2 petang saya akan PuΕ₯ on sneakers n jog.

Bila saya kena attend event yang macam ni, memang inilah jadual saya. Saya tak berapa redha,  jadi haruslah saya menjauhkan diri daripada misery walaupun sejam cuma.

Last year saya berjoging sensorang di Klang dalam jerebu. Belasah..
D year before kat Melaka... I was lucky sebab my housemates Penangites joined me. Heaven!

ThIs time around, I planned to walk to Sogo every evening. Walaupun...

Terus mokcik rasa tenang. It couldnt b dat bad huh?
Two of my bosses pun r Ketua Derjah. So mokcik menempel kat mereka berdua for guidance.

Mr K ( not his real name) ajar buat cenggini..
Mr J (not his real name too) pesan suruh buat cenggini...
Baik hati mereka berdua ni..

Cuma bila mokcik baca handouts lama mokcik termenung.  I dont know where to start.

Then, I started with a certain Mr G.
A request yang saya tahu macam x logik je...
"Kita ada SOP puan, budak2 kami dah ramai yang kena." dia jawab.
Saya kata saya faham tugas dia,  feel free to say No... Saya cakap lagi...

"Tak pernah lagi kami dapat request ni Puan. Takper saya akan bawakan kepada boss saya" dia jawab. Saya x nampak ada bunga2 harapan. Saya pun x harap sangat sebenarnya.  Tapi mokcik memang suka mencuba nasib katanya.

At night I studied d table. I tried to do d Maths. Sudahnya saya tanya Jee..
She is ever willing to help me out. But I sensed dia pun sama nervous ngan saya..
Maybe in future saya harus tunjuk konfiden sikit.

Oh why..
despite saya ada Mr K, Mr J dan Jee yang sentiasa sedia membantu saya masih tak tenang juga.
despite ada Mr G yang walaupun tak kenal tapi ever willing to go all out help me saya masih juga rasa cemas.
despite akan stay ditempatkan yang nostalgic,  shopping hari2 kat tempat yang saya sukai hati saya masih berdebar2..

Its 1.30a.m.
I could not take a wink.

Saya takut. Saya cemas. Saya ragu2 dan saya penat...
How I wish I have someone to make me laugh di tengah malam yang gelap dan sunyi ini

Wednesday, November 09, 2016

Dont Judge part 1.

Kejadian berlaku semalam, sewaktu saya dan makan 2,3 biji mangga muda cicah kuah rojak. D Kids were seating for Paper 2. Paper 1 mereka kata mereka boleh jawab.
Walaupun hati mokcik terhirissss bila baca lakaran idea yang mereka conteng di kertas soalan,  tapi mokcik simpan kelukaan di lubuk hati yang paling dalam.

Hidup mesti diteruskan...
Mokcik tunggu mereka di pintu dewan, dengan doa yang kali ini mokcik harap Allah makbulkan..

I was eating when one of d eaters (?) cakap one of d Kids r married.
Tgh SPM nak nikah dah kenapa?
Shotgun marriage. Dia kata.
Sengaja mokcik guna bahasa lama..

Terus mokcik Xder selera.
Someone nak tambah Juicy cerita. I asked her to think dat what if d Kid is hers. What is d guarantee her Kids wont be like dat in 10 years time.
Ujian Allah macam2 dekkk... Mohon Allah jangan terbalikkan hati saya jugak.

Ye... Bab cenggini mokcik memang defensif sket.. Kalau nak marah2, sebelum jadi.  Kalau dah nasi jadi bubur,  kita taruk kicap, cili potong saja.

I was flabbergasted bila tau d boy is a year younger n a school dropout pulak tu. Tapi lepas tau his family background,  saya rasa SHE will b in a good hand.
Atau sebenarnya saya doa dat girl will b in a good hand.

But I m quite curious why she chose to tie a knot. She is a bright kid. She can get someone better.  Jadi malam2 saya STALKed FB beliau.

Saya fikir saya tahu kenapa. Saya fikir, dia fikir inilah jalan terbaik. Saya pun fikir begitu..
Macam saya tulis di atas,  she is a bright kid. I have faith in her.

Cuma nak pergi mendekati beliau dan bagi kata2 semangat, memang takkan berlaku lah...

It reminds me my entry years ago. Malas pulak saya nak geledah.  At dat time I was told dia kena cekup. What kind of cekup, x payah tulis la..

The next time I bumped into her, I told her,
"Awak cantik.. Mesti cantik kalau awak naik pelamin nanti... Awak janganlah buat perangai bukan2, nanti awak kahwin Ticer mesti datang tau" saya cakap sambil pegang tangan dia. Hahhahaha.. Dia ketawa..
"Mana ada.." gitu kot dia kata..

Fast forward years later... Next Weekend dia akan berkahwin.
Cuma saya takkan datang, mokcik kena outstation sampai Hahad.
Yes...I am invited katanya..

Tak tau apa mohtip saya berthrowback malam ni...
Maybe sebab saya kesal kot...

She would make.a beautiful bride, if only she waits.

Sekian


Monday, November 07, 2016

Menanti..

Hari ini, hari pertama SPM.
Sebak.
Pelajar yang sudah berbulan missing in action datang menjelma.

Hati saya bagai dihiris.
Yang datang hari2-hari belum tentu 'lepas', ditambah pula yang baru menjenguk muka.

Tapi mereka berdua saya kenal sejak 5 tahun lalu.
Seorang trauma sebab involved in a fatal accident. Dia selamat,  unscatched.
Seorang lagi Maknya hantar ke sekolah tahfiz.

Erm... Mokcik takder komen.
Except bisik kat mereka suruh datang ke rumah after paper petang ni.
Mokcik nak kasi crash course.

Mereka kata ok.
Jumpa petang Nanti!, mokcik cakap dengan ceria.

Ermmm...
Dari pukul 5 petang mokcik tunggu.
Ni dan 6.29p.m
Bayang pun tak nampak.

Mungkin!
Mungkin hujan lebat di kawasan rumah mereka.

Mungkin ribut.
Mungkin banjir.
Mungkin..

Hasil carian imej untuk quote on thinking positive




Saturday, November 05, 2016

Opis belum bukak, kerja sudah mula Meh.

I tot wished I am mentally prepared.
Last week, there was a big request. Which made me open d motivational book.

The next day, there was another request.  It made me composed an email to HQ.
Which I deleted later..
I am not officially appointed.  Yang kau gelabah sangat tu kenapa norizan adnan?
Saya bertanya kepada diri sendiri of course.

Pagi tadi I got a phone call.
Congrats, katanya.
Jangan nak mengada!, saya jawab dan kami sama2 ketawa.
I melompat2 bila tau it was you, dia cakap.
Sedehh, saya balas. Dan kami ketawa lagi.
He puΕ₯ forward a request,  which I promised to answer when d time comes.

Jangan janji.  Gitu kata buku motivasi.

Just now, another request.
Saya fikir.
I will try, saya jawab begitu saja.

Semua request mereka tu ada asas yang sangat wajar dipertimbangkan.
Macam menarik rambut dalam tepung, rambut jangan putus,  tepung jangan berserak.

I did it before. Tepung n rambut both remained intact.
It was not d best part of my life, but d experience really enriching.

Yang saya risaukan ialah...

Hasil carian imej untuk quote on leadership

Errr...
Entah.

Nite peeps.


Few Good Men

Last Thursday I went home at 2pm despite there was a meeting. I told d 2nd boss I could not tahan anymore. Dan2 mokcik hilang malu and jalan Senget2 pergi ke kereta.

Luckily I bumped into TheOldfriend. saya dah seteresss nak suruh siapa kunci pintu.
"Laaa kan Ayob ada", dia kata.
"Dia takkan tolong", saya jawab. Which is not true. For years beliau memang tak pernah menolak kalau diminta, tapi saya fikir, saya perlu belajar untuk tak meminta lagi. So to speak.

So, I went home. I had lunch with mom, only sebab dia tengah lunch. I just too plain Rice n kuah sayur saja. Somehow, saya memang sungguh tak ok

After took d medicine, I went back to #12A. I do not want others to see how terrible I am when in pain.

There were 2 red motorbikes,  Adik's of course. Tapi dia keluar with his friend. I was asleep when he came back. Still saya bangun n opened d door. We exchanged greetings, n saya fell asleep on n off.
Arif went home when d Rain stopped.

At 7, a sofΕ₯ knock on d Windows woke me up.  Told u, I was terrible when in pain. Jo came with a lanky man in his early 30S.

They wanted to check d roof.
"Sorryla adik, kalau kakak tau adik nak datang, kakak kemas rumah elok2 sikit", saya cakap... Pagi tu saya x sempat sapu rumah sebab x sihat, balik kerja pun x sihat... Agak2la kan...

"Rumah saya lagi sepah Kak", dia cakap.. Secara literalnya mmg rumah bersepah la kan..

He checked. Jo waited.
They promised to come on Saturday.

They did. Saya masih tak sihat.
Tapi saya mop lantai sejak pagi. Eh?

I excused myself n went to....  Errrr.....
Later my mom called...
Jo called her cakap dah siap.

Jadi saya balik.
Aikkk x sampai sejam pun...

"Sorry adik,  kakak ingat lama.." saya cakap dengan adik tu. Dia x banyak cakap.
Mesti ada d Kids yang dah beritahu dia saya garang macam Yisrael. Mungkin dia gentar hahhahaha

"Laaa..  X payahla.. Kitaorang nak pergi kenduri kot lepas ni", Jo cakap bila saya kasi 2 boxes of kfc snackers.
"Laaa.. andak dah beli kottt", saya cakap kat adik.saya.

Dia ambik dan mereka pun balik
 Saya masuk rumah dan check..

Mereka even plasterkan syiling yang dah bocor tu. Yippeeeeee!!!!!

Untuk rekod, bumbung tu dah bocor sejak 2 tahun yang lalu. Saya pun.dah beritahu Acho awal2. In fact saya dah beritahu semua orang sebab tak mungkin saya yang cari handyman sendiri.
Tapi adik2 lelaki saya memang tabah menerima suratan hidup kekdahnya...

Thanks to my mom yang runsing tengok muka anak dia serabai bila tiba musim hujan. Jadi dia pergi tanya kat pemandu traktor yang datang ke rumah,  who later promised to help. Since he worked for my bro, maka kadar kesibukan mereka pun sama. He gave name, so my mom suruh Jo hantarkan ke rumah orang tu but Jo refused. "Kawan orang pun boleh buat" katanya.

So he called his friend.  Booked n he was d ones yang drive over.
Kalau nak harap saya, I will never let any stranger enter my house. I m glad I have my brothers hhahahhaha.
Biarlah lambat asalkan saya tak payah bercakap pun



Finally, tangisan musim hujan saya will b over...



Thursday, November 03, 2016

Appreciated

I really admired how an ustaz conducted his class. At d end of 2 months class he said, "tuan2 tak payahlah mintak maaf dengan saya. Tuan2 tak ada salah apapun dengan saya" which is true.

Why kita are expected to seek forgiveness padahal x buat salah pun. Setiap kali kelas kita duduk diam n catat, x tau tanya. Bila break makan. Orang mintak tolong, kita tolong. Dosa celah mana?
Tapi bila kerja x nak buat, orang tegur sebab menyusahkan dia... then bila kita buat salah, kita playing Victim pulak.. Letihnya...

I did juz dat 2 days ago. Told d Kids I wont b around during Restu event as I will have class, Besides, I really not feeling well.

Still,  few Girls came up, n looked for me. I shooed them away   but they insisted to hug n kisses katanya..
Not dat I am complaining:)

Next, there were a bunch from other class. All Four of them were crying. For d first time in my career, I wept too.
Unspoken misery is always a bad thing.

There is a message though.
From a boy who is notorious for his foul mouth n bad temper. Thanks God he never use his colourful language to me,  or else mau saya baling dia dari Tingkat tiga ke bawah...

Saya mintak maaf kalau saya ada maki tice, dia tulis.
Dia memang ada maki kawan sekerja saya, tapi saya tak pernah dimaki, saya cuma cakap saya malu dia buat begitu pada kawan saya..

Sebab Ticerlah saya boleh berdiri sampai sekarang, Ticer layan saya baik,  walaupun perangai saya tak baik, dia tulis lagi.

That was not true though, he was a good boy, when he chose to.be. But life was hard on him. I used to talk to his father who confessed he loved him.dearly but somehow... I dunno..

Saya anggap Teacher macam ibu saya.
Dia tulis.
Ermmm..

I dont have dat motherly figure in me.
Yang ni macam tak jujur je...

But d fact dat these Girls n the boy appreciate me, well..

As I always wrote in my blog, kasih sayang untuk dirasa.


Words juz fail me.😒😒

I dont deserve those clowns

Might b it is d cramps I had.
Or d fact dat maybe there r so many things I could see with clear eyes lately.
Or d plain ones, I m sick of these first class acts.

First, there was a piece of news I do not want to know. I was happened to be there last week. D news was told matter-of-factly.
I don't think it is appropriate though, to spread d news.

"Have you?", I asked, after I spoke quite lenghty on dat how it was a slip of tongue of d news barrier yadayada... so I do care about him. He answered briefly, but I can sense hurt in it. 
Why should d news be in the open?

"Sabarlah... Things will get better", saya cakap bahasa Melayu la kott... but d gist is there.
I noticed he always alone these days. Gone are his usual bubbly self. Gone also d friends who used to flock him like moth.
Huh?

Early this year I was looking for help. Only to be answered indifferently. I put my worries behind and fought defiantly.
I won trust from some quarters, gained confidence from d ones who matter.
I gathered haters but in d end,  they see dat I did it not for fame, so they r with me now.
It was not smooth sailing, but surely it speaks volume.

Then I was told he wanted to promote me. Like? Seriously?
In order to do that, someone will b sidelined.
Like? Waddehelliverry?
Didn't it occur to him, I will never want to work for him after how badly he treated me before? I did not hold grudge.  Anyway, I juz wonder, while he judged d current post holder, orang lain tak judged dia kah?
Maybe not me. I don't judge people. When anyone put me in deep shit, I can't easily forget his name though 😍

Then, there is another incident which got me puzzled. I was looking for someone, a he. He was discussing something with his friend, another HE, who later asked me rudely about d validity of d fact.
That was d manner of d discussion which troubled me. It was more on d gossips side, I guess. D fact that they quoted me is something I resented.
If you want to know d facts, u checked with d authority, instead of asking people. Afterall, why can't they go straight to d man himself,  like they used to in d past. All these years, that particular person had playing victim n these Men had rallied to him through n through.
Why shouldn't they do it for d rest of their life. Go on...
U might live forever...

There were times I really need his support.  There were times I believe he was really my staunch supporter.  These few months I was just so tired. That's it. The end.
Somehow I was waiting for him to say sorry about d missing names in list. He did not. Instead he was sulking n his friends were being rude too. Birds of d same feather!
It went on for quite sometimes.  I m juz so tired with his antics

After it all over, this morning he came to d door with boyish grin n pardon me for saying, a bit flirtatious. Reason being, he needed help. Or he thought I helped him, when in fact I did neither. Mokcik x sudi okehhh...

Oh Goshhh.. D proof dat he never listens. Once, last year, we argued about something. Out of nowhere he said, sometimes people we hate most, is d one who always pray for us.

"If u pray for me, thanks" came my reply.
"not me, its him, he always said u r kind n he dont understand why  xxyycc always bully you",  he added, "menangis tak bila tau?",.

I don't.
Maybe I cried a bit. Not because knowing I have secRet admirer, but to d fact he chose to tell me dat when our dispute has nothing to do with that man.. How dare him.
Off topic ok..

"Kalau kita mudah percaya cakap orang, dah lama kita berkahwin n beranak pinak kot", mokcik jawab. Off topic juga..

The idea is there.
There r Woman out there who will accept you juz d way you are. U can dupe them, humiliate them, treat them horribly but when d need arise be sweet to them, PuΕ₯ on flirtatious mode n wallah!
You wish is my command katanya...

I can be that Woman too, if your name is Abe Jojo.
Other than him, mohon good-for-nothing Men around me,  lupakan..

Because in life, Xder apa pun yang saya kejar...






Tuesday, November 01, 2016

Slightly Dangerous

Dats d novel I've been reading d whole day, after Zuhur.
Walaupun logbook tak siap, tak talipon someone for details,  tak contact d PIC,
Tak buat itu,  tak buat ini...

I juz want to enjoy my holiday to d fullest.
Enough on worries.

Besides,  I love d setting so much.
I would love to have a lake where I can swim around my house n a dovecote, a place I can run to Whenever I m in need to be alone.
Tapi rumah kecik, bathtub pun Xder kot. Sedehhh

Anyway,  I just love the idea of having somewhere I can swim.
Now... Dis reminds me of someone I used to share my deepest secRet not so very long time ago.

Saya beritahu dia saya nak mulakan hidup baru. By hidup baru I mean to start doing part time job, earn some money n stop doing things they way I did now. I want to focus on myself, because I m so tired. Damn tired.
No elaboration.
Saya cakap dengan sedih kot...  There r so many things yang sangat saya terkilan.
No elaboration.  Yang sedih2 kita simpan dalam hati.

Dia pun kata a friend ajak dia pindah. Buy a property. Dekat sungai tau.. Dia kata...

"Wehhh... Tapi yang rumah tepi sungai tu kita yang nak kot...", saya jawab konpius. Dia pun ketawa.

Saya tak tahu dia cakap betul ke tidak. Mokcik jinak, mudah sangat ditipu. Judging from our separated path lately, I assumed mokcik telah ditipu dengan jayanya.
Tipu pasal rumah tepi sungai,  mokcik redha lagi, but there r other things
All d affections yang ditunjukkan selama bertahun juga adalah tipu mungkin.

It made me extremely sad, mokcik x lalu makan dan lost 3kg.
Berfaedah juga tipu daya beliau itu.

If u asked me what I will do kepada kawan itu, the answer is I will do nothing.
I will treat beliau, like I treated all my friends. With a mask of course.

Macam kata Kak Lina la kan.. Pinggan untuk perhiasan,  rupanya retak ditepinya. Tidak elok kiranya dibuat hidangan,  apa pula kata tetamu yang datang, itulah ibarat kisah silam, jangan ditambah bara yang tersimpan
Kekdahnya....

Thats why,  Wulfric n Christie story is so captivating. As I see it, as u get older, you PuΕ₯ on more layers,  so dat people only see you the way you want to be seen. You hide your flaws, your Dreams, your hopes, your bitterness in a locked compartment.

The day someone breach the trust and broke your heart, d key is lost forever. Katanya...



Hujan lagi

Sejak sebelum Subuh. What a great excuse to sleep in. Besides, today is still my off day.

As much as I would love to, since Jee visits on Sunday, my original upside down life became chaos.

Drama betul!

I m so nervous
Saya takut gilerrr..
Saya rasa tertekan.
At d same time I want to give my best.
I also willing to experience d less ventured trail.


Have u ever feel dat way peeps?

I keep telling myself, ada orang berperang2 nak jadi Ketua Derjah.
In my case this is d 3rd time it was thrown to me. In a way, it speaks volume 😷

Come on Norizan...
Things happen for a reason.

By d way, last night someone texted me, asking for something.
I promised I will look into it.

ThIs morning, after Subuh prayer,  out of habit I skimmed through Jaket Canfield's
Ok chuols.. Bila mokcik nak mulakan tugas baru yang mokcik tak reti,
Mokcik bukak buku motivasi chuolss...

Bab last dia cakap, jangan berjanji.
Jangan janji kalau tak tau boleh ditepati atau tidak.
Goshhh...

Kalau dah janji,  pastikan tepati katanya.

Alahai.... Haruslah hari ni mokcik mulakan tugas Ketua Derjah baru itu.
15 hari lebih awal dari tarikh.

In life, it is either u do or die.
😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨